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The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report
Intro - 2/5/09
Season 5 • 02/05/2009
Stephen's guessing the stimulus package contains high-fructose corn syrup.
More
Watching
00:32
Intro - 2/4/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Pope Benedict reinstates a Holocaust-denying bishop. Frankly, Stephen is skeptical of the evidence that he actually reinstated him.
02/04/2009
00:09
Tell Your Friends
The Colbert Report
S5
If you didn't like what you saw, Stephen will tell your enemies.
02/04/2009
03:01
Stephen Verbally Thrashes Steve Martin
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen explodes after Steve Martin walks through his eyeline.
02/04/2009
04:33
Yahweh or No Way - The Super Bowl
The Colbert Report
S5
God helping both teams in a football game would be as impossible as loving both Christians and Muslims.
02/04/2009
00:13
Keep Your Friends Close
The Colbert Report
S5
You can keep your enemies closer by hating yourself.
02/05/2009
02:40
Stelephant Colbert the Elephant Seal
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen has a hideous elephant seal named after him.
02/05/2009
02:03
Alpha Dog of the Week - Boy Scouts of America
The Colbert Report
S5
The Boy Scouts of America proudly raise the Scout sign and tell their own conservation code to read between the lines.
02/05/2009
07:03
Jonah Lehrer
The Colbert Report
S5
Jonah Lehrer talks about finding a balance between the rational and the emotional in decision-making.
02/05/2009
02:39
Economic Stimulus Bill - James Surowiecki
The Colbert Report
S5
James Surowiecki says the Democrats are using the financial crisis to push through programs that are in the long-term interest of Americans.
02/05/2009
04:38
Economic Stimulus Debate
The Colbert Report
S5
Democrats take a page from the Republicans' fear book when selling the economic stimulus bill.
02/05/2009
00:31
Intro - 2/5/09
The Colbert Report
S5
What's in the stimulus package? Stephen's guessing high-fructose corn syrup because that stuff is in everything.
02/05/2009
00:30
Intro - 2/9/09
The Colbert Report
S5
A married lesbian couple files for divorce and moves into separate Subaru Outbacks, and someone won a Grammy.
02/09/2009
02:43
The New Word Czar
The Colbert Report
S5
Michael Steele navigates the subtleties of our language as he talks about the stimulus bill.
02/09/2009
04:01
Al Gore Steals Stephen's Grammy
The Colbert Report
S5
Since Stephen's voice isn't worth a Grammy, he's going to stop talking forever.
02/09/2009
05:45
ThreatDown - Gay Divorce
The Colbert Report
S5
A lesbian couple files for divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable sameness, and the Japanese poop gold.
02/09/2009
06:02
Shout Out - Honey, Counterterrorism & an Old Guard Flag
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen gets a fresh stash of pharmaceutical-grade hive jive and learns of a Counterterrorism Calendar.
02/10/2009
01:55
The Visa Black Card
The Colbert Report
S5
Visa: it's everywhere you want to be, unless that place is a Jimmy Buffett concert.
02/10/2009
05:12
The Word - Loyal Opposition
The Colbert Report
S5
The best way for Republicans to win back the trust of the people is to copy the strategy of our enemies.
02/10/2009
00:14
You Look Like Stephen
The Colbert Report
S5
You look like Stephen, if he were on a curvy, glassy thing.
02/10/2009
00:31
Intro - 2/10/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Tough times for the Republican Party -- this sounds like a job for tax cuts.
02/10/2009
05:42
Robert Ballard
The Colbert Report
S5
Robert Ballard explains why ocean exploration is a good investment.
02/10/2009
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A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
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Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022
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Diwali Gets Wild in Hot Mess Holiday
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