The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 12/03/2009
Tiger Woods cheats on his mistress with another woman.
The Colbert ReportS5 Deployment Figures
President Obama's speech to send 30,000 troops to Afghanistan was missing passion and a certain word.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cheating Death - R.J. Reynolds, Genzyme & Bionic Bottom
R.J. Reynolds hopes to make money off of quit-smoking aids, Genzyme pills contain trash, and a man regulates his bowel movements via remote control.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 12/2/09
Barack Obama sends 30,000 troops into Afghanistan, and Craig Watkins overturns old convictions with DNA evidence.
The Colbert ReportS5 Craig Watkins
Craig Watkins tries to bring back credibility to the criminal justice system by overturning wrongful convictions.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 12/3/09
Tiger Woods says he's sorry, Stephen has Olympic fever, and Janet Napolitano isn't securing the homeland.
The Colbert ReportS5 Skate Expectations - Skeleton Team Tryouts - Zach Lund
Zach Lund gives Stephen the history of skeleton racing before helping him try out for the Olympic team.
The Colbert ReportS5 Janet Napolitano
Janet Napolitano discusses America's border security and explains why she doesn't believe in the color-coded terror alert level.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Welcome Sean Julien
Stephen welcomes the newest member of the Colbert Nation, Sean Julien.
The Colbert ReportS5 Skate Expectations - Skeleton Team Tryouts
Stephen isn't attending the Vancouver Olympics just to ombud -- he's going as a member of the U.S. Olympic team.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tiger's Tale
Tiger Woods didn't realize that cheating is a sacred institution between one man, one woman and one other woman.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Jonas Brothers, Fox News & Japanese Burger King
The Jonas Brothers promote the Xbox 360, Fox News enforces a new accuracy pledge, and Japanese Burger Kings sell a Windows 7 Whopper.
The Colbert ReportS5 Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Tongue-Eating Parasite
Scientists discover a parasitic fish off the coast of New Jersey that survives by eating and replacing the host's tongue.
The Colbert ReportS5 Bill T. Jones
Bill T. Jones describes how Fela Kuti fought against the Nigerian government with his music.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 12/7/09
Stephen inflates his neck pouch to scare off predators and wonders what Disney movie "Fela!" is based on.
The Colbert ReportS5 Who's Attacking Me Now? - G. Edward DeSeve
Stefan Colburt will fight G. Edward DeSeve anywhere in America, like Rhode Island's 65th District.
The Colbert ReportS5 Fed's Dead - Bernie Sanders
Bernie Sanders doesn't want the government to run everything, but he calls for a fairer distribution of wealth and income.
The Colbert ReportS5 Andy Schlafly
Andy Schlafly invites the best of the public to translate the Bible on Conservapedia.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 12/8/09
Ben Bernanke may lose his job, and Andy Schlafly creates a conservative version of Wikipedia.
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