The Colbert Report
Stephen's Show
Season 5 E 69 • 05/19/2009

That's it for the show -- Stephen's show.

Watching

05:47

The Colbert ReportS5 E68
Meghan McCain

Meghan McCain loves the Republican Party and wants to save it from the people trying to make it more extreme.
05/18/2009
05:24

The Colbert ReportS5 E68
ThreatDown - Charity, Casual Jesus & Robot Teachers

The Christian Children's Fund changes its name, Jesus goes casual, and Japan unveils a scary robot teacher.
05/18/2009
00:31

The Colbert ReportS5 E68
Intro - 5/18/09

Evidently, you can't leave prisoners at Gitmo, and the Christian Children's Foundation changes its name.
05/18/2009
00:13

The Colbert ReportS5 E68
Sign Off - Internal Clock

Stephen's internal clock is telling him it's time to go.
05/18/2009
02:27

The Colbert ReportS5 E68
Welcome to the Real World, Obama

To join the conservative real world, Obama will need a magical unicorn, a dictionary and proof that global warming doesn't exist.
05/18/2009
01:45

The Colbert ReportS5 E69
Rumsfeld's Cover Letter Bible Quotes

Rumsfeld put Bible quotes on his cover pages for President Bush because war briefings are a snooze without a little pizzazz.
05/19/2009
06:24

The Colbert ReportS5 E69
Walter Kirn

Walter Kirn believes that putting Ivy League schools like Princeton on the web would show those attending state schools they're not inferior.
05/19/2009
00:32

The Colbert ReportS5 E69
Intro - 5/19/09

Republicans find a way to make us love them again, and a Difference Maker stands up to the government.
05/19/2009
04:49

The Colbert ReportS5 E69
The Word - I Know You Are But What Am I?

If the Republicans really want people to go against the Democrats, they'll need a name that instantly turns people off.
05/19/2009
06:24

The Colbert ReportS5 E69
Difference Makers - Stephen Keith

Government regulation strangles Tombstone, AZ until actor Stephen Keith fires back with fake guns.
05/19/2009
00:09

The Colbert ReportS5 E69
Stephen's Show

That's it for the show -- Stephen's show.
05/19/2009
00:33

The Colbert ReportS5 E70
Intro - 5/20/09

Torture memo author John Yoo gets a newspaper column, and Nancy Pelosi says the CIA lied to her.
05/20/2009
06:02

The Colbert ReportS5 E70
Seth Shostak

Seth Shostak believes that, unless Earth is a miracle, there is most likely life among the trillion planets.
05/20/2009
00:04

The Colbert ReportS5 E70
Goodnight

That's it for The Report, everybody.
05/20/2009
06:56

The Colbert ReportS5 E70
She Said, CIA Said - Bob Graham

Bob Graham's diary doesn't say anything about the CIA briefing him on waterboarding.
05/20/2009
04:15

The Colbert ReportS5 E70
DonorsChoose.org Classroom Projects

You've already donated over $63,000 to DonorsChoose.org, but there are classroom projects that still need your support.
05/20/2009
02:20

The Colbert ReportS5 E70
Extra! Extra! Bleed All About It!

John Yoo had all the qualifications the Philadelphia Inquirer was looking for, in that they were afraid to tell him no.
05/20/2009
00:34

The Colbert ReportS5 E71
Intro - 5/21/09

Stephen reveals most of the Indian election results, and Green Day talks about their album, "21st Century Breakdown."
05/21/2009
01:38

The Colbert ReportS5 E71
47-Million-Year-Old Fossil

A newly discovered 47-million-year-old fossil doesn't look anything like Stephen's Aunt Ida.
05/21/2009
05:13

The Colbert ReportS5 E71
Green Day

Green Day discusses Wal-Mart's censorship and considers covering one of Stephen's patriotic songs.
05/21/2009
04:01

The Colbert ReportS5 E71
Naan-Partisan

Stephen calls Shashi Tharoor to congratulate him on getting the Colbert Bump.
05/21/2009
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