The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 05/19/2009
Walter Kirn is anti-meritocracy because the education system doesn't reward depth.
The Colbert ReportS5 Meghan McCain
Meghan McCain loves the Republican Party and wants to save it from the people trying to make it more extreme.
The Colbert ReportS5 ThreatDown - Charity, Casual Jesus & Robot Teachers
The Christian Children's Fund changes its name, Jesus goes casual, and Japan unveils a scary robot teacher.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 5/18/09
Evidently, you can't leave prisoners at Gitmo, and the Christian Children's Foundation changes its name.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Internal Clock
Stephen's internal clock is telling him it's time to go.
The Colbert ReportS5 Welcome to the Real World, Obama
To join the conservative real world, Obama will need a magical unicorn, a dictionary and proof that global warming doesn't exist.
The Colbert ReportS5 Rumsfeld's Cover Letter Bible Quotes
Rumsfeld put Bible quotes on his cover pages for President Bush because war briefings are a snooze without a little pizzazz.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 5/19/09
Republicans find a way to make us love them again, and a Difference Maker stands up to the government.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - I Know You Are But What Am I?
If the Republicans really want people to go against the Democrats, they'll need a name that instantly turns people off.
The Colbert ReportS5 Difference Makers - Stephen Keith
Government regulation strangles Tombstone, AZ until actor Stephen Keith fires back with fake guns.
The Colbert ReportS5 Walter Kirn
Walter Kirn believes that putting Ivy League schools like Princeton on the web would show those attending state schools they're not inferior.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 5/20/09
Torture memo author John Yoo gets a newspaper column, and Nancy Pelosi says the CIA lied to her.
The Colbert ReportS5 Seth Shostak
Seth Shostak believes that, unless Earth is a miracle, there is most likely life among the trillion planets.
The Colbert ReportS5 She Said, CIA Said - Bob Graham
Bob Graham's diary doesn't say anything about the CIA briefing him on waterboarding.
The Colbert ReportS5 DonorsChoose.org Classroom Projects
You've already donated over $63,000 to DonorsChoose.org, but there are classroom projects that still need your support.
The Colbert ReportS5 Extra! Extra! Bleed All About It!
John Yoo had all the qualifications the Philadelphia Inquirer was looking for, in that they were afraid to tell him no.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 5/21/09
Stephen reveals most of the Indian election results, and Green Day talks about their album, "21st Century Breakdown."
The Colbert ReportS5 47-Million-Year-Old Fossil
A newly discovered 47-million-year-old fossil doesn't look anything like Stephen's Aunt Ida.
The Colbert ReportS5 Green Day
Green Day discusses Wal-Mart's censorship and considers covering one of Stephen's patriotic songs.
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