The Colbert Report
Intro - 6/13/07
Season 3 • 06/13/2007
Surprising news about a 5,000-year old caveman -- he has doubts about that new caveman sitcom, too.
The Colbert ReportS3 Mr. Dyachenko, Tear Down This Watermelon
Once wasn't enough -- Stephen pays additional tribute to the 20th anniversary of Reagan's "Tear Down This Wall" speech, with the help of karate champion Igor Dyachenko.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 6/12/07
The 20th anniversary of Reagan's "Tear Down This Wall" speech, a segment for the elite viewer, and a substitute guest for prolific spammer Cornelius Q. Vestibule.
The Colbert ReportS3 Bush's Missing Watch
Rumors are swirling that one of the Albanians in the adoring crowd that met President Bush stole his watch. Stephen doesn't believe it.
The Colbert ReportS3 Colbert Platinum - Butler Shortage
In a new segment aimed exclusively at his top-tier viewers, Stephen explores a troubling worldwide butler shortage.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Pathophysiology
Stephen suggests the nation might better fight the gay agenda if it were treated like disease, much like an addiction to cigarettes.
The Colbert ReportS3 Ron Paul
Ron Paul is a constitutionalist and claims Stephen is confused because he hasn't seen one in a while.
The Colbert ReportS3 Ruined Anniversary
Alan Colmes -- unless that Florida teenager's hiccups brought down the Iron Curtain -- you stay on message!
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Crispy Deliciousness
For those of you with TiVo, Stephen included a special coded message in one of the commercials; go back and find it!
The Colbert ReportS3 Freezing Cold Case Files: Otzi
Otzi the Iceman -- Stephen will find your killer and if he's also frozen he will thaw him out and fry his ass.
The Colbert ReportS3 ThreatDown - Robots
Bear-bots are going to turn on us, and our only hope is that the Japanese toddler-bots will grow up in time to fight them.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 6/13/07
Stephen covers a 5,000-year-old caveman, a new surgeon general and a presidential candidate who will talk to him -- Ron Paul.
The Colbert ReportS3 Anne-Marie Slaughter
Anne-Marie Slaughter is the author of "The Idea That Is America" -- Chapter One: Stephen Colbert.
The Colbert ReportS3 Secret Clapton Concert
A secret Eric Clapton concert in the works? Not anymore, New York Times!
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 6/19/07
Stephen sits down with author Anne-Marie Slaughter and asks whether there should be a national eagle day.
The Colbert ReportS3 Countdown to Armageddon
There is fantastic news out of Jerusalem -- the world is coming to an end.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Manifesto
Stephen was going to read to the audience, but he's out of time.
The Colbert ReportS3 Alpha Dog of the Week - Robert Bork
It takes a strong man to look at his own written opinions and say it's time for daddy to take a slice.
The Colbert ReportS3 MaryBeth Garrigan
A good father will go to any length to regurgitate squirrel meat into his son's waiting mouth.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Justice
Every day another group of human rights supremacists takes another tool out of our terror-fighting workbench.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 6/20/07
Stephen discusses e-mail etiquette with Will Schwalbe and a federal appeals court says the president can't indefinitely detain enemies.
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