The Colbert Report

Intro - 6/13/07

Season 3 • 06/13/2007

Surprising news about a 5,000-year old caveman -- he has doubts about that new caveman sitcom, too.

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00:48

The Colbert ReportS3
Mr. Dyachenko, Tear Down This Watermelon

Once wasn't enough -- Stephen pays additional tribute to the 20th anniversary of Reagan's "Tear Down This Wall" speech, with the help of karate champion Igor Dyachenko.
06/12/2007
00:35

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 6/12/07

The 20th anniversary of Reagan's "Tear Down This Wall" speech, a segment for the elite viewer, and a substitute guest for prolific spammer Cornelius Q. Vestibule.
06/12/2007
01:04

The Colbert ReportS3
Bush's Missing Watch

Rumors are swirling that one of the Albanians in the adoring crowd that met President Bush stole his watch. Stephen doesn't believe it.
06/12/2007
03:18

The Colbert ReportS3
Colbert Platinum - Butler Shortage

In a new segment aimed exclusively at his top-tier viewers, Stephen explores a troubling worldwide butler shortage.
06/12/2007
04:28

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Pathophysiology

Stephen suggests the nation might better fight the gay agenda if it were treated like disease, much like an addiction to cigarettes.
06/13/2007
05:18

The Colbert ReportS3
Ron Paul

Ron Paul is a constitutionalist and claims Stephen is confused because he hasn't seen one in a while.
06/13/2007
01:06

The Colbert ReportS3
Ruined Anniversary

Alan Colmes -- unless that Florida teenager's hiccups brought down the Iron Curtain -- you stay on message!
06/13/2007
00:12

The Colbert ReportS3
Sign Off - Crispy Deliciousness

For those of you with TiVo, Stephen included a special coded message in one of the commercials; go back and find it!
06/13/2007
02:44

The Colbert ReportS3
Freezing Cold Case Files: Otzi

Otzi the Iceman -- Stephen will find your killer and if he's also frozen he will thaw him out and fry his ass.
06/13/2007
04:57

The Colbert ReportS3
ThreatDown - Robots

Bear-bots are going to turn on us, and our only hope is that the Japanese toddler-bots will grow up in time to fight them.
06/13/2007
00:38

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 6/13/07

Stephen covers a 5,000-year-old caveman, a new surgeon general and a presidential candidate who will talk to him -- Ron Paul.
06/13/2007
06:43

The Colbert ReportS3
Anne-Marie Slaughter

Anne-Marie Slaughter is the author of "The Idea That Is America" -- Chapter One: Stephen Colbert.
06/19/2007
02:02

The Colbert ReportS3
Secret Clapton Concert

A secret Eric Clapton concert in the works? Not anymore, New York Times!
06/19/2007
00:30

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 6/19/07

Stephen sits down with author Anne-Marie Slaughter and asks whether there should be a national eagle day.
06/19/2007
02:12

The Colbert ReportS3
Countdown to Armageddon

There is fantastic news out of Jerusalem -- the world is coming to an end.
06/19/2007
00:10

The Colbert ReportS3
Sign Off - Manifesto

Stephen was going to read to the audience, but he's out of time.
06/19/2007
01:44

The Colbert ReportS3
Alpha Dog of the Week - Robert Bork

It takes a strong man to look at his own written opinions and say it's time for daddy to take a slice.
06/19/2007
06:00

The Colbert ReportS3
MaryBeth Garrigan

A good father will go to any length to regurgitate squirrel meat into his son's waiting mouth.
06/19/2007
04:45

The Colbert ReportS3
The Word - Justice

Every day another group of human rights supremacists takes another tool out of our terror-fighting workbench.
06/20/2007
00:37

The Colbert ReportS3
Intro - 6/20/07

Stephen discusses e-mail etiquette with Will Schwalbe and a federal appeals court says the president can't indefinitely detain enemies.
06/20/2007
00:13

The Colbert ReportS3
Sign Off - Job Well Done

Take it from Stephen, there's nothing like a job well done.
06/20/2007
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