The Colbert Report

The Word - Pathophysiology

Season 3 • 06/13/2007

With Holsinger as Surgeon General, Stephen asks "Why go to a doctor when you could go to a plumber?"

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00:48

Mr. Dyachenko, Tear Down This Watermelon
The Colbert ReportS3

Once wasn't enough -- Stephen pays additional tribute to the 20th anniversary of Reagan's "Tear Down This Wall" speech, with the help of karate champion Igor Dyachenko.
06/12/2007
00:35

Intro - 6/12/07
The Colbert ReportS3

The 20th anniversary of Reagan's "Tear Down This Wall" speech, a segment for the elite viewer, and a substitute guest for prolific spammer Cornelius Q. Vestibule.
06/12/2007
01:04

Bush's Missing Watch
The Colbert ReportS3

Rumors are swirling that one of the Albanians in the adoring crowd that met President Bush stole his watch. Stephen doesn't believe it.
06/12/2007
03:18

Colbert Platinum - Butler Shortage
The Colbert ReportS3

In a new segment aimed exclusively at his top-tier viewers, Stephen explores a troubling worldwide butler shortage.
06/12/2007
00:38

Intro - 6/13/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen covers a 5,000-year-old caveman, a new surgeon general and a presidential candidate who will talk to him -- Ron Paul.
06/13/2007
05:18

Ron Paul
The Colbert ReportS3

Ron Paul is a constitutionalist and claims Stephen is confused because he hasn't seen one in a while.
06/13/2007
01:06

Ruined Anniversary
The Colbert ReportS3

Alan Colmes -- unless that Florida teenager's hiccups brought down the Iron Curtain -- you stay on message!
06/13/2007
00:12

Sign Off - Crispy Deliciousness
The Colbert ReportS3

For those of you with TiVo, Stephen included a special coded message in one of the commercials; go back and find it!
06/13/2007
02:44

Freezing Cold Case Files: Otzi
The Colbert ReportS3

Otzi the Iceman -- Stephen will find your killer and if he's also frozen he will thaw him out and fry his ass.
06/13/2007
04:57

ThreatDown - Robots
The Colbert ReportS3

Bear-bots are going to turn on us, and our only hope is that the Japanese toddler-bots will grow up in time to fight them.
06/13/2007
04:28

The Word - Pathophysiology
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen suggests the nation might better fight the gay agenda if it were treated like disease, much like an addiction to cigarettes.
06/13/2007
06:43

Anne-Marie Slaughter
The Colbert ReportS3

Anne-Marie Slaughter is the author of "The Idea That Is America" -- Chapter One: Stephen Colbert.
06/19/2007
02:02

Secret Clapton Concert
The Colbert ReportS3

A secret Eric Clapton concert in the works? Not anymore, New York Times!
06/19/2007
00:30

Intro - 6/19/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen sits down with author Anne-Marie Slaughter and asks whether there should be a national eagle day.
06/19/2007
02:12

Countdown to Armageddon
The Colbert ReportS3

There is fantastic news out of Jerusalem -- the world is coming to an end.
06/19/2007
00:10

Sign Off - Manifesto
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen was going to read to the audience, but he's out of time.
06/19/2007
01:44

Alpha Dog of the Week - Robert Bork
The Colbert ReportS3

It takes a strong man to look at his own written opinions and say it's time for daddy to take a slice.
06/19/2007
06:00

MaryBeth Garrigan
The Colbert ReportS3

A good father will go to any length to regurgitate squirrel meat into his son's waiting mouth.
06/19/2007
04:45

The Word - Justice
The Colbert ReportS3

Every day another group of human rights supremacists takes another tool out of our terror-fighting workbench.
06/20/2007
00:37

Intro - 6/20/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen discusses e-mail etiquette with Will Schwalbe and a federal appeals court says the president can't indefinitely detain enemies.
06/20/2007
00:13

Sign Off - Job Well Done
The Colbert ReportS3

Take it from Stephen, there's nothing like a job well done.
06/20/2007
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