The Colbert Report
Mr. Dyachenko, Tear Down This Watermelon
Season 3 • 06/12/2007
Stephen pays additional tribute to Reagan with help from karate champion Igor Dyachenko.
The Colbert ReportS3 Commencement Speeches
Stephen spoke at Knox College commencement last year and was given an honorary doctorate. He swore that if Bill Clinton spoke there this year, he'd burn the degree on the air.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Easy A
Stephen doesn't expect to get any awards for saying it, but he agrees with President Bush that no child should be left behind.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 6/11/07
Stephen gives America's education system an "A," President Bush is greeted as a liberator in Albania, and guest Michael Gershon believes there's a brain in the gut.
The Colbert ReportS3 Mr. Dyachenko, Tear Down This Wall
On the date of the 20th anniversary of Reagan's "Tear Down This Wall" speech, Stephen prepares a historical reenactment with the help of a karate champion.
The Colbert ReportS3 Mr. Dyachenko, Tear Me Off a Piece of This Cake
Stephen once again calls upon karate champion Igor Dyachenko to tear something -- this time a piece of cake.
The Colbert ReportS3 Tommy Chong, Commentator
In the swirling media coverage surrounding Paris Hilton's latest arrest, one man's thoughts stayed high above the fray on cable news -- Tommy Chong's.
The Colbert ReportS3 Josh Wolf
Blogger Josh Wolf served prison time for withholding videotapes of an anarchist protest from authorities, so Stephen is sending a copy of their interview straight to the Feds.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 6/12/07
The 20th anniversary of Reagan's "Tear Down This Wall" speech, a segment for the elite viewer, and a substitute guest for prolific spammer Cornelius Q. Vestibule.
The Colbert ReportS3 Bush's Missing Watch
Rumors are swirling that one of the Albanians in the adoring crowd that met President Bush stole his watch. Stephen doesn't believe it.
The Colbert ReportS3 Colbert Platinum - Butler Shortage
In a new segment aimed exclusively at his top-tier viewers, Stephen explores a troubling worldwide butler shortage.
The Colbert ReportS3 Mr. Dyachenko, Tear Down This Watermelon
Once wasn't enough -- Stephen pays additional tribute to the 20th anniversary of Reagan's "Tear Down This Wall" speech, with the help of karate champion Igor Dyachenko.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Pathophysiology
Stephen suggests the nation might better fight the gay agenda if it were treated like disease, much like an addiction to cigarettes.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 6/13/07
Stephen covers a 5,000-year-old caveman, a new surgeon general and a presidential candidate who will talk to him -- Ron Paul.
The Colbert ReportS3 Ron Paul
Ron Paul is a constitutionalist and claims Stephen is confused because he hasn't seen one in a while.
The Colbert ReportS3 Ruined Anniversary
Alan Colmes -- unless that Florida teenager's hiccups brought down the Iron Curtain -- you stay on message!
The Colbert ReportS3 Sign Off - Crispy Deliciousness
For those of you with TiVo, Stephen included a special coded message in one of the commercials; go back and find it!
The Colbert ReportS3 Freezing Cold Case Files: Otzi
Otzi the Iceman -- Stephen will find your killer and if he's also frozen he will thaw him out and fry his ass.
The Colbert ReportS3 ThreatDown - Robots
Bear-bots are going to turn on us, and our only hope is that the Japanese toddler-bots will grow up in time to fight them.
The Colbert ReportS3 Anne-Marie Slaughter
Anne-Marie Slaughter is the author of "The Idea That Is America" -- Chapter One: Stephen Colbert.
The Colbert ReportS3 Secret Clapton Concert
A secret Eric Clapton concert in the works? Not anymore, New York Times!
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