The Colbert Report

The Word - United We Standoff

Season 9 • 01/17/2013

Obama's anti-gun storm troopers forget that the Second Amendment is about military-style weaponry.

More

Watching

07:38

Tom Brokaw
The Colbert ReportS9

Network news icon Tom Brokaw discredits calls for Obama's impeachment and describes a few of the nine presidents he's covered since JFK.
01/16/2013
00:35

Intro - 1/16/13
The Colbert ReportS9

Big banks suffer harsh punishment, date nights rekindle romance, and Tom Brokaw talks about President Obama's second term.
01/16/2013
00:05

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen says goodnight.
01/16/2013
04:16

HSBC Laundering Charges - Matt Taibbi
The Colbert ReportS9

"Secrets and Lies of the Bailout" author Matt Taibbi talks about HSBC, his famous Goldman Sachs dig and the problem with super wealthy banks.
01/16/2013
02:53

Pat Robertson's Romance Advice
The Colbert ReportS9

In order to revive their marriages, women must live up to the beauty standards that Pat Robertson has set.
01/16/2013
05:24

Akhil Reed Amar
The Colbert ReportS9

The legal scholar shares his book, "America's Unwritten Constitution: The Precedents and Principles We Live By."
01/17/2013
02:58

Corporate Scamwich
The Colbert ReportS9

Two New York Post reporters expose a massive corporate conspiracy through an investigative journalism technique known as lunch.
01/17/2013
00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen says goodnight.
01/17/2013
05:03

Porn Names & Porn Lawsuits
The Colbert ReportS9

Megyn Kelly's porn name is not as good of a porn name as "Megyn Kelly," and a major adult filmmaker challenges L.A.'s condom law for porn actors.
01/17/2013
02:52

Obama's Gun Grab
The Colbert ReportS9

Since King Gun Snatcher the Magnificent knew his gun policies weren't going to pass the smell test, he stoops to surrounding himself with children during his speech.
01/17/2013
04:23

The Word - United We Standoff
The Colbert ReportS9

If the Second Amendment is truly meant to defend against government force, then citizens will never be safe until they can have their own aircraft carriers.
01/17/2013
00:34

Intro - 1/21/13
The Colbert ReportS9

The Presidential Inauguration kicks off, America gets the flu, and The Atlantic's Ta-Nehisi Coates talks about Obama's next four years.
01/21/2013
07:12

Obama's Second Inauguration
The Colbert ReportS9

The President swears in on Lincoln's Bible to ride the popularity of Spielberg's blockbuster, and inaugural guest James Taylor signifies how far America has come as a nation.
01/21/2013
05:43

Ta-Nehisi Coates
The Colbert ReportS9

Ta-Nehisi Coates discusses President Obama's reelection, the Black Panther Party and Michelle Obama's youthful hairdo.
01/21/2013
01:30

Stephen's Re-Inauguration
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen pledges to defend the Constitution and ensure that Barack Obama is a one two-term president.
01/21/2013
05:54

ThreatDown - Flu, Kate Middleton, Vomiting Robots, Superintelligent Gonorrhea, Bears
The Colbert ReportS9

America quarantines children, Kate Middleton popularizes puking, British researchers create a projectile vomiting robot, and gonorrhea outsmarts drugs.
01/21/2013
00:05

Sign Off - Hotel Bibles
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen stretches out on a bed of inauguration Bibles from Lincoln, NE.
01/21/2013
05:29

Dustin Hoffman's Bad News
The Colbert ReportS9

Dustin Hoffman cuts Stephen's character from "Quartet," so Stephen gets even.
01/22/2013
05:26

Kathryn Bigelow
The Colbert ReportS9

The Academy Award-winning director discusses the Senate investigation into "Zero Dark Thirty" and the hot-button issue of torture.
01/22/2013
00:14

Sign Off - "Zero Dark Thirty" & "Quartet"
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen reprises his role in Dustin Hoffman's film.
01/22/2013
04:52

Obama's Inauguration & Class Warfare
The Colbert ReportS9

Fox News knocks Obama's "big government" speech and uses "Downton Abbey" to prove that America loves wealthy aristocrats.
01/22/2013
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:49

"South Park: Snow Day!" Trailer
South Park

Join your favorite South Park characters as they fight for neighborhood dominance during a blizzard in "South Park: Snow Day!," available now.
03/26/2024
Trailer
00:28

Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"
South ParkS26

Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
12/21/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022