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The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report
All You Need to Know - Kansas Education
Season 1 • 11/09/2005
Stephen shows you how to siphon gas.
More
Watching
00:08
Fract - Franagram: American Patriot
The Colbert Report
S1
"American Patriot" anagrams to "I am an erotic part."
11/08/2005
01:48
Wilford Brimley Calls - Cocoon
The Colbert Report
S1
Wilford Brimley doesn't understand why Stephen isn't using the cocoon he sent as a set decoration.
11/08/2005
01:13
America Doesn't Torture
The Colbert Report
S1
The president says that America doesn't do anything illegal. Torture is illegal. Ergo -- and that's Latin for "bite me" -- we do not torture.
11/08/2005
00:31
Intro - 11/8/05
The Colbert Report
S1
On the agenda: Terrell Owens, torture, Christmas tradition and Court TV's Catherine Crier.
11/08/2005
07:20
Catherine Crier
The Colbert Report
S1
To get into the news business, Catherine Crier said, "Boys, I've got a camera in the living room. You wanna come over and make a tape?"
11/08/2005
00:27
Intro - 11/9/05
The Colbert Report
S1
Arnold Schwarzenegger's propositions are turned down at the ballot box, and Stephen looks forward to talking with author Mary Roach.
11/09/2005
05:50
Mary Roach
The Colbert Report
S1
Stephen and author Mary Roach contact a spirit from the past in the studio.
11/09/2005
05:14
Better Know a District - Florida's 7th - John Mica
The Colbert Report
S1
Congressman John Mica stands for his district with the tenacity of an alligator that shows up in your garage after a hurricane.
11/09/2005
03:47
The Word - Willy Loman
The Colbert Report
S1
Mr. Schwarzenegger, get back to what you do best: jamming Arnold into people's holes.
11/09/2005
02:18
Next Question
The Colbert Report
S1
At the recent White House press briefings it looks like Scott McClellan is about to crap his pants or burst into tears.
11/09/2005
02:18
All You Need to Know - Kansas Education
The Colbert Report
S1
The Kansas Board of Education approves the teaching of intelligent design in the classroom.
11/09/2005
05:43
Cokie Roberts
The Colbert Report
S1
Cokie Roberts recalls an old Washington, where people could disagree without being disagreeable.
11/10/2005
00:34
Intro - 11/10/05
The Colbert Report
S1
Congress hard at work, the re-branding of Veteran's Day and Cokie Roberts -- all on tonight's show.
11/10/2005
03:30
The DaColbert Code - Samuel Alito
The Colbert Report
S1
Stephen uses The DaColbert Code to pierce the veil of secrecy and solve modern-day mysteries.
11/10/2005
02:56
The In-Box - Asian Stereotypes
The Colbert Report
S1
In an attempt to apologize for accidentally perpetuating an Asian stereotype, Stephen shares some of The Report's airtime with its sister station in Osaka.
11/10/2005
04:03
The Word - Armistice
The Colbert Report
S1
President Bush is saving Veterans Day by creating thousands of new veterans.
11/10/2005
02:58
Swear to God
The Colbert Report
S1
Stephen believes that big oil company CEOs should have sworn in before testifying to Congress.
11/10/2005
05:59
Bob Kerrey
The Colbert Report
S1
Stephen pitches former Senator Bob Kerrey his plan for training the Iraqi army.
11/14/2005
01:24
Internets Anniversary
The Colbert Report
S1
Stephen buys himself an Internet anniversary present from eBay.
11/14/2005
02:03
The Word - Testosterone
The Colbert Report
S1
Stephen thinks women are weaker than men for being incapable of completely abandoning their humanity.
11/14/2005
05:09
CMA Buzz
The Colbert Report
S1
Stephen is giddy with anticipation for the Country music Awards -- not to be confused with the CMT Flame Worthy Awards or the ACM awards.
11/14/2005
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S1
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10/12/2022
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01:41
This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
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Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022
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01:22
Out of Office Explores Remote Work Absurdity
Out of Office
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09/19/2022
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00:35
A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
South Park
S25
Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022