The Colbert Report
That's All the Time We Have
Season 5 • 01/13/2009
That's all the time for tonight's show.
Anthony RomeroThe Colbert ReportS5
Anthony Romero believes it will be a huge mistake if Barack Obama doesn't close Guantanamo immediately.
A Lot More to SayThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen will give you some time for your eardrums to scab over.
The Word - Sweet Smell of SuccessThe Colbert ReportS5
Axe body spray works for awkward teenage males, so it should work for the economy.
Bush's Last Press ConferenceThe Colbert ReportS5
When it comes to connecting the dots, President Bush can't win.
Stephen Jr. on Christmas EveThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen Jr. is spotted on Christmas eve getting ready to fly around the world delivering the gift of yuletide joy and rodent parts.
On Notice - Limey Squirrel EatersThe Colbert ReportS5
Bloodthirsty blokes react to the economic downturn by eating squirrels.
Niall FergusonThe Colbert ReportS5
Niall Ferguson explains how money is a relationship between a creditor and a debtor.
Bush Presidency Aged UsThe Colbert ReportS5
The Bush presidency has aged everyone, including Stephen.
Cold War Update - CubaThe Colbert ReportS5
If we open up relations with Cuba, the allure of rum, mambo and spicy Latinas could prove irresistible.
Intro - 1/13/09The Colbert ReportS5
Russians cut off the natural gas pipeline to Europe in the most boring James Bond plotline ever.
That's All the Time We HaveThe Colbert ReportS5
That's all the time we have for tonight, tomorrow night, and last night's show.
P.K. Winsome - Obama CollectiblesThe Colbert ReportS5
P.K. Winsome believes the merchandising of Barack Obama is the dream that Martin Luther King, Jr. envisioned.
Little Victories - America's Galaxy Is BigThe Colbert ReportS5
Good news: the Milky Way is about the same size as the Andromeda Galaxy.
Intro - 1/14/09The Colbert ReportS5
Is Barack Obama being over-marketed? For just $25 you can get a commemorative tote bag containing the answer.
Alan KhazeiThe Colbert ReportS5
Alan Khazei explains to Stephen why anybody would do something for someone else and not get paid for it.
Commemorative PlatesThe Colbert ReportS5
If you order in the next 30 minutes you can get two sets of commemorative plates billed to your credit card.
The Last Bush EffigyThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen expects Iran to send George W. Bush's effigy off in style.
Spay and Neuter Your PetsThe Colbert ReportS5
Spay or neuter your pets because Stephen's are out there humping their brains out.
Shepard FaireyThe Colbert ReportS5
Shepard Fairey's "Hope" poster belongs to everyone.
Bush's Romance With the Media - David GregoryThe Colbert ReportS5
David Gregory believes the press will hold Obama's feet to the fire in the same way all presidents ought to be challenged.
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