The Colbert Report

30-Minute Anniversary

Season 3 • 08/01/2007

Stephen gets the Nation the ultimate 30-minute anniversary present.

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00:38

Rupert Murdoch Purchases The Wall Street Journal
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wonders if Rupert Murdoch has instead taken over Reuters, who were first to report the story.
07/31/2007
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02:21

Wrist Violence Epidemic
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen continues to attack films that show wrist violence and calls on Hollywood to stop showing such acts.
07/31/2007
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02:32

Smokin' Pole - Arc! Who Goes There?
The Colbert ReportS3

Now is the time for America to deploy its undersea army of hermit crabs to fight back Russia from claiming the North Pole.
07/31/2007
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06:06

Kathleen Kennedy Townsend
The Colbert ReportS3

Kathleen Kennedy Townsend explains how the Christian Right has shrunk God and made America not care about the common good.
07/31/2007
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00:33

Intro - 7/31/07
The Colbert ReportS3

In this episode, Russia lays claim to the North Pole, Democrats accuse Alberto Gonzales of perjury and guest Kathleen Kennedy Townsend talks about what happens when you mix politics and religion.
07/31/2007
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03:57

The Word - College Credit
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is all in favor of a new system of charging higher tuition for certain college majors and has some additional ideas of his own.
08/01/2007
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03:09

When Animals Attack Our Morals - Hollywood Pigeons
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen recommends that Hollywood stop putting their pigeons on the pill and start teaching an abstinence-only curriculum.
08/01/2007
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00:31

Intro - 8/1/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen thinks an infestation of pigeons is Michael Bay's latest summer blockbuster.
08/01/2007
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05:45

Dr. Jerry Vizzone
The Colbert ReportS3

The master of the metacarpals, Dr. Jerry Vizzone, joins Stephen to talk about wrist violence.
08/01/2007
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05:59

Michael Beschloss
The Colbert ReportS3

Michael Beschloss explains why historians don't immediately judge history as soon as it happens.
08/01/2007
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00:14

30-Minute Anniversary
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wishes the Nation a happy 30-minute anniversary, but wonders where his present is.
08/01/2007
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05:18

Michael Behe
The Colbert ReportS3

The father of intelligent design, Michael Behe, joins Stephen to explain his role as the Albert Einstein of Charles Darwin.
08/02/2007
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01:19

ThighMasters for the Troops
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is appalled that the defense department would undermine our troops' self-confidence by sending them ThighMasters.
08/02/2007
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00:34

Intro - 8/2/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen warns his monkey viewers that the father of intelligent design will be joining him on the show.
08/02/2007
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03:50

Rick MacArthur
The Colbert ReportS3

Rick MacArthur explains how NAFTA should be renamed the North American Cheap Labor Agreement.
08/02/2007
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01:57

Sport Report - Barry Smash
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen gives Alex Rodriguez some advice from his Little League days to help him hit his 500th home run.
08/02/2007
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04:31

Superhighway
The Colbert ReportS3

Mitt Romney feels the idea of a NAFTA superhighway cutting through the U.S. is just an urban legend that he is strongly against.
08/02/2007
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06:34

Better Know a Protectorate - American Samoa - Eni Faleomavaega
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen finds out that the Representative from American Samoa is against the nuclear bombing of Pacific islands.
08/07/2007
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00:19

Sign Off - Colbert Commonsensicals
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wants his Colbert Commonsensical to be put on a poster with a snowy white mountain or something.
08/07/2007
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02:44

The Word - The Dark Side
The Colbert ReportS3

In order to win the war on terror, we need to use tactics that we should not even be able to conceive.
08/07/2007
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05:56

Ian Bogost
The Colbert ReportS3

Author and video game designer Ian Bogost explains how video games allow people to put themselves in other people's shoes.
08/07/2007
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