The Colbert Report

When Animals Attack Our Morals - Hollywood Pigeons

Season 3 • 08/01/2007

A thieving seagull has Stephen up in arms.

More

Watching

00:38

Rupert Murdoch Purchases The Wall Street Journal
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wonders if Rupert Murdoch has instead taken over Reuters, who were first to report the story.
07/31/2007
02:21

Wrist Violence Epidemic
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen continues to attack films that show wrist violence and calls on Hollywood to stop showing such acts.
07/31/2007
02:32

Smokin' Pole - Arc! Who Goes There?
The Colbert ReportS3

Now is the time for America to deploy its undersea army of hermit crabs to fight back Russia from claiming the North Pole.
07/31/2007
06:06

Kathleen Kennedy Townsend
The Colbert ReportS3

Kathleen Kennedy Townsend explains how the Christian Right has shrunk God and made America not care about the common good.
07/31/2007
00:33

Intro - 7/31/07
The Colbert ReportS3

In this episode, Russia lays claim to the North Pole, Democrats accuse Alberto Gonzales of perjury and guest Kathleen Kennedy Townsend talks about what happens when you mix politics and religion.
07/31/2007
03:57

The Word - College Credit
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is all in favor of a new system of charging higher tuition for certain college majors and has some additional ideas of his own.
08/01/2007
00:31

Intro - 8/1/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen thinks an infestation of pigeons is Michael Bay's latest summer blockbuster.
08/01/2007
05:45

Dr. Jerry Vizzone
The Colbert ReportS3

The master of the metacarpals, Dr. Jerry Vizzone, joins Stephen to talk about wrist violence.
08/01/2007
05:59

Michael Beschloss
The Colbert ReportS3

Michael Beschloss explains why historians don't immediately judge history as soon as it happens.
08/01/2007
00:14

30-Minute Anniversary
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wishes the Nation a happy 30-minute anniversary, but wonders where his present is.
08/01/2007
03:09

When Animals Attack Our Morals - Hollywood Pigeons
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen recommends that Hollywood stop putting their pigeons on the pill and start teaching an abstinence-only curriculum.
08/01/2007
05:18

Michael Behe
The Colbert ReportS3

The father of intelligent design, Michael Behe, joins Stephen to explain his role as the Albert Einstein of Charles Darwin.
08/02/2007
01:19

ThighMasters for the Troops
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is appalled that the defense department would undermine our troops' self-confidence by sending them ThighMasters.
08/02/2007
00:34

Intro - 8/2/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen warns his monkey viewers that the father of intelligent design will be joining him on the show.
08/02/2007
03:50

Rick MacArthur
The Colbert ReportS3

Rick MacArthur explains how NAFTA should be renamed the North American Cheap Labor Agreement.
08/02/2007
01:57

Sport Report - Barry Smash
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen gives Alex Rodriguez some advice from his Little League days to help him hit his 500th home run.
08/02/2007
04:31

Superhighway
The Colbert ReportS3

Mitt Romney feels the idea of a NAFTA superhighway cutting through the U.S. is just an urban legend that he is strongly against.
08/02/2007
06:34

Better Know a Protectorate - American Samoa - Eni Faleomavaega
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen finds out that the Representative from American Samoa is against the nuclear bombing of Pacific islands.
08/07/2007
00:19

Sign Off - Colbert Commonsensicals
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen wants his Colbert Commonsensical to be put on a poster with a snowy white mountain or something.
08/07/2007
02:44

The Word - The Dark Side
The Colbert ReportS3

In order to win the war on terror, we need to use tactics that we should not even be able to conceive.
08/07/2007
05:56

Ian Bogost
The Colbert ReportS3

Author and video game designer Ian Bogost explains how video games allow people to put themselves in other people's shoes.
08/07/2007
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:49

"South Park: Snow Day!" Trailer
South Park

Join your favorite South Park characters as they fight for neighborhood dominance during a blizzard in "South Park: Snow Day!," available now.
03/26/2024
Trailer
00:28

Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"
South ParkS26

Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
12/21/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022