The Colbert Report
The Word - XMas
Season 1 • 12/05/2005
Evidently, the storm troopers of diversity think there's a nicer way to say, "Merry Christmas."
Richard ClarkeThe Colbert ReportS1
Former counterterrorism czar Richard Clarke discusses his new book of fiction, "The Scorpion's Gate."
Giant Gold WasherThe Colbert ReportS1
The Winter Olympics are Stephen's favorite time of the every four years.
Face TransplantThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen honors the heroes who toil to plump our sunken cheeks, hoist our drooping buttocks and thread serrated plastic sutures through the fatty layers beneath our necks.
Tip/Wag - SeattleThe Colbert ReportS1
Something crashes in Seattle, and this time it's not Windows 98.
Kennedy Center HonorsThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen doesn't understand why Ted Kennedy gets to decide who the best artists are in this country.
This Week in History - December 4th-10thThe Colbert ReportS1
Prohibition ended when Utah ratified the 21st Amendment -- no surprise considering the booze-drenched land of debauchery Utah has become.
Colbert Nation Citizen AwardThe Colbert ReportS1
Lock your doors and windows, America. There's an escaped criminal on the loose.
Maureen DowdThe Colbert ReportS1
Maureen Dowd proves that when you send a woman to do a man's job, they wind up abolishing men.
ApologyThe Colbert ReportS1
Bobby breaks away from the pack in the horserace of shame.
Intro - 12/5/05The Colbert ReportS1
Tonight, Stephen covers the Kennedy Center awards and asks Maureen Dowd if he's necessary.
The Word - XMasThe Colbert ReportS1
Wishing a non-believer "Merry Christmas" is no different than inviting a foreign exchange student to a Fourth of July barbeque
Anderson CooperThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen is getting tired of all the comparisons between himself and Anderson Cooper.
The Word - BacksiesThe Colbert ReportS1
The free ride is over now that corporations are adopting the beloved childhood ritual of backsies.
Season of GivingThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen frowns on nameless acts of charity because they're the coward's way out.
Better Know a District - Virginia's 8th - Jim MoranThe Colbert ReportS1
There is nothing Stephen can do to get Jim Moran to take a swing at him.
Fract - The Star Spangled BannerThe Colbert ReportS1
It's a common misconception that Francis Scott Key wrote "The Star Spangled Banner."
Intro - 12/6/05The Colbert ReportS1
Stephen Colbert introduces tonight's topics, including Americans dying poor and ABC's new anchors. Plus, Representative Jim Moran and Anderson Cooper stop by.
Intro - 12/7/05The Colbert ReportS1
Tonight, Stephen sits down with Congressional Quarterly columnist Craig Crawford and previews the war on Christmas.
The Word - Hell, No!The Colbert ReportS1
Americans aren't willing to just give Hugo Chavez their hearts and minds, but they'll trade them for oil.
Burritos Happy HolidaysThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen finds a blatant example of anti-Christmas secularism run amok.
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