The Colbert Report
Intro - 12/5/05
Season 1 • 12/05/2005
Why must we honor people so lazy they spread their achievements over a lifetime?
The Colbert ReportS1 Richard Clarke
Former counterterrorism czar Richard Clarke discusses his new book of fiction, "The Scorpion's Gate."
The Colbert ReportS1 Giant Gold Washer
The Winter Olympics are Stephen's favorite time of the every four years.
The Colbert ReportS1 Face Transplant
Stephen honors the heroes who toil to plump our sunken cheeks, hoist our drooping buttocks and thread serrated plastic sutures through the fatty layers beneath our necks.
The Colbert ReportS1 Tip/Wag - Seattle
Something crashes in Seattle, and this time it's not Windows 98.
The Colbert ReportS1 Kennedy Center Honors
Stephen doesn't understand why Ted Kennedy gets to decide who the best artists are in this country.
The Colbert ReportS1 This Week in History - December 4th-10th
Prohibition ended when Utah ratified the 21st Amendment -- no surprise considering the booze-drenched land of debauchery Utah has become.
The Colbert ReportS1 Colbert Nation Citizen Award
Lock your doors and windows, America. There's an escaped criminal on the loose.
The Colbert ReportS1 Maureen Dowd
Maureen Dowd proves that when you send a woman to do a man's job, they wind up abolishing men.
The Colbert ReportS1 Apology
Bobby breaks away from the pack in the horserace of shame.
The Colbert ReportS1 The Word - XMas
Wishing a non-believer "Merry Christmas" is no different than inviting a foreign exchange student to a Fourth of July barbeque
The Colbert ReportS1 Intro - 12/5/05
Tonight, Stephen covers the Kennedy Center awards and asks Maureen Dowd if he's necessary.
The Colbert ReportS1 Anderson Cooper
Stephen is getting tired of all the comparisons between himself and Anderson Cooper.
The Colbert ReportS1 The Word - Backsies
The free ride is over now that corporations are adopting the beloved childhood ritual of backsies.
The Colbert ReportS1 Season of Giving
Stephen frowns on nameless acts of charity because they're the coward's way out.
The Colbert ReportS1 Better Know a District - Virginia's 8th - Jim Moran
There is nothing Stephen can do to get Jim Moran to take a swing at him.
The Colbert ReportS1 Fract - The Star Spangled Banner
It's a common misconception that Francis Scott Key wrote "The Star Spangled Banner."
The Colbert ReportS1 Intro - 12/6/05
Stephen Colbert introduces tonight's topics, including Americans dying poor and ABC's new anchors. Plus, Representative Jim Moran and Anderson Cooper stop by.
The Colbert ReportS1 Intro - 12/7/05
Tonight, Stephen sits down with Congressional Quarterly columnist Craig Crawford and previews the war on Christmas.
The Colbert ReportS1 The Word - Hell, No!
Americans aren't willing to just give Hugo Chavez their hearts and minds, but they'll trade them for oil.
The Colbert ReportS1 Burritos Happy Holidays
Stephen finds a blatant example of anti-Christmas secularism run amok.
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