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The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report
Intro - 12/5/05
Season 1 • 12/05/2005
Why must we honor people so lazy they spread their achievements over a lifetime?
More
Watching
04:49
The Colbert Report
S1
Richard Clarke
Former counterterrorism czar Richard Clarke discusses his new book of fiction, "The Scorpion's Gate."
12/01/2005
02:15
The Colbert Report
S1
Giant Gold Washer
The Winter Olympics are Stephen's favorite time of the every four years.
12/01/2005
01:31
The Colbert Report
S1
Face Transplant
Stephen honors the heroes who toil to plump our sunken cheeks, hoist our drooping buttocks and thread serrated plastic sutures through the fatty layers beneath our necks.
12/01/2005
04:04
The Colbert Report
S1
Tip/Wag - Seattle
Something crashes in Seattle, and this time it's not Windows 98.
12/01/2005
04:03
The Colbert Report
S1
Kennedy Center Honors
Stephen doesn't understand why Ted Kennedy gets to decide who the best artists are in this country.
12/05/2005
02:37
The Colbert Report
S1
This Week in History - December 4th-10th
Prohibition ended when Utah ratified the 21st Amendment -- no surprise considering the booze-drenched land of debauchery Utah has become.
12/05/2005
01:51
The Colbert Report
S1
Colbert Nation Citizen Award
Lock your doors and windows, America. There's an escaped criminal on the loose.
12/05/2005
05:21
The Colbert Report
S1
Maureen Dowd
Maureen Dowd proves that when you send a woman to do a man's job, they wind up abolishing men.
12/05/2005
01:50
The Colbert Report
S1
Apology
Bobby breaks away from the pack in the horserace of shame.
12/05/2005
03:49
The Colbert Report
S1
The Word - XMas
Wishing a non-believer "Merry Christmas" is no different than inviting a foreign exchange student to a Fourth of July barbeque
12/05/2005
00:37
The Colbert Report
S1
Intro - 12/5/05
Tonight, Stephen covers the Kennedy Center awards and asks Maureen Dowd if he's necessary.
12/05/2005
05:53
The Colbert Report
S1
Anderson Cooper
Stephen is getting tired of all the comparisons between himself and Anderson Cooper.
12/06/2005
02:35
The Colbert Report
S1
The Word - Backsies
The free ride is over now that corporations are adopting the beloved childhood ritual of backsies.
12/06/2005
00:31
The Colbert Report
S1
Season of Giving
Stephen frowns on nameless acts of charity because they're the coward's way out.
12/06/2005
07:00
The Colbert Report
S1
Better Know a District - Virginia's 8th - Jim Moran
There is nothing Stephen can do to get Jim Moran to take a swing at him.
12/06/2005
00:09
The Colbert Report
S1
Fract - The Star Spangled Banner
It's a common misconception that Francis Scott Key wrote "The Star Spangled Banner."
12/06/2005
00:38
The Colbert Report
S1
Intro - 12/6/05
Stephen Colbert introduces tonight's topics, including Americans dying poor and ABC's new anchors. Plus, Representative Jim Moran and Anderson Cooper stop by.
12/06/2005
00:36
The Colbert Report
S1
Intro - 12/7/05
Tonight, Stephen sits down with Congressional Quarterly columnist Craig Crawford and previews the war on Christmas.
12/07/2005
03:14
The Colbert Report
S1
The Word - Hell, No!
Americans aren't willing to just give Hugo Chavez their hearts and minds, but they'll trade them for oil.
12/07/2005
04:46
The Colbert Report
S1
Burritos Happy Holidays
Stephen finds a blatant example of anti-Christmas secularism run amok.
12/07/2005
05:33
The Colbert Report
S1
ThreatDown - Threats
Another terrorist attack is "inevitable" now that the 9/11 Commission has told the terrorists it is.
12/07/2005
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A Clüsterfünke Christmas Is TV's Holiday-est Movie
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Every Episode of Seinfeld Is Now on Comedy Central
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