The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Headlines - Shell on Earth

Season 5 • 12/06/2000

Harriet the Tortoise finally speaks up about the food at the Australia Zoo.

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01:00

Intro - Joke Elves
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Jon Stewart catches the joke elves in the studio having a sex party.
12/05/2000
00:12

Moment of Zen - Fighting Weight
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Dick Cheney hasn't hit his fighting weight yet.
12/05/2000
02:18

This Just In - Haute Beef Injunction
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Blood sausage may be rendered unappetizing as mad cow disease spreads across Europe.
12/05/2000
01:02

Intro - Beating up Santa
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Jon beats the crap out of a Santa on the street ringing a bell.
12/06/2000
04:47

In Cold Sap
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

What kind of a person could make use of a dead tree? A carpenter perhaps?
12/06/2000
02:04

Headlines - Eleven Large
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Eleven freshman senators are welcomed to the Senate, including Hillary Clinton.
12/06/2000
00:16

Moment of Zen - Jingle Bell Rock
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Rudy Giuliani, Al Roker and others sing at Rockefeller Center.
12/06/2000
02:35

Back in Black - Jail Time
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The Daily Show won't pay to dry clean Lewis Black's suit, but will pay a cameraman overtime to film his release from prison.
12/06/2000
04:44

Chris O'Donnell
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Not a single person was lost during the eight months of shooting Chris O'Donnell's new movie.
12/06/2000
00:57

Recap - 12/6/00
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Jon recaps today's stories and previews tomorrow's Stephen Colbert piece.
12/06/2000
02:08

Headlines - Shell on Earth
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The world's oldest tortoise celebrates its 170th birthday by dancing on the hare's grave, very slowly.
12/06/2000
00:16

Moment of Zen - Fingernails
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The man with the longest fingernails in the world takes them out of their special bag.
12/07/2000
02:42

Sexy Underwear
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Dave Attell runs down the hottest gifts for the holiday season, mainly sexy lingerie for women and fruity underwear for men.
12/07/2000
00:53

Intro - 12/7/00
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Jon teases at a stock market report from Stephen Colbert and appearances from Marlon Wayans and Dave Attell.
12/07/2000
01:31

This Just In - Not Wheels
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Defective scooters are the subject of a massive recall, prompting a consumer product safety spokesman to tell us what we already know.
12/07/2000
04:32

Marlon Wayans
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Marlon Wayans talks about his new film "Dungeons & Dragons" and how pretending a tennis ball is a dragon is like playing with yourself.
12/07/2000
04:38

Invested Interests
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Stephen Colbert takes a bath in a stock tip from his wife and asks students at The Thomason School how best to ethically enhance the value of Starmedia.
12/07/2000
02:34

Headlines - Elector Complex
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The Republican-controlled Florida state government calls a session in order to uphold the Constitution, not to engage in partisan politics.
12/07/2000
01:16

Headlines - Nail-Safe
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

The man with the longest fingernails in the world prepares to cut them off and sell them, most likely to the owner of the world's largest unopened envelope.
12/07/2000
01:46

This Just In - Indecision 5761
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

This guy, Ehud Barak, only had one project on his plate -- no wonder his constituents are angry.
12/11/2000
01:04

Courting Disaster - Supreme Court Junkies
The Daily Show with Jon StewartS5

Among the lucky few allowed to view the Bush v. Gore Supreme Court proceedings were Mike Teavee, Violet Beauregarde, Veruca Salt and Augustus Gloop.
12/11/2000
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