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The Colbert Report
The Word - White Guy
Season 3 • 08/13/2007
Being 5'11" and spending $400 on his hair puts John Edwards in line to be a black woman.
More
Watching
05:40
The Colbert Report
S3
Tip/Wag - Bloomberg
If a billionaire mayor can't get out of jury duty, then what hope do the rest of us have?
08/09/2007
00:32
The Colbert Report
S3
Intro - 8/9/07
Stephen sits down with filmmaker Judd Apatow and takes a fair and balanced look at the upcoming presidential candidates.
08/09/2007
05:19
The Colbert Report
S3
Judd Apatow
Stephen commends Judd Apatow on casting a man no woman in her right mind would ever want to sleep with as a 40-year-old virgin.
08/09/2007
04:15
The Colbert Report
S3
The Word - Clarity
Stephen gives each presidential candidate impartial treatment -- from an American hero like Fred Thompson to a money-grubbing Ken doll like John Edwards.
08/09/2007
00:16
The Colbert Report
S3
Sign Off - Toenails
Don't forget to clip your toenails before you go to bed.
08/09/2007
02:38
The Colbert Report
S3
Rove Resigns
Stephen is having a few problems with prescription painkillers. He's hearing voices and having hallucinations like bats and the resignation of Karl Rove.
08/13/2007
07:04
The Colbert Report
S3
Michael Jacobson
Michael Jacobson stops by to seriously bum out Stephen about pepperoni pizza, Cheddar Combos and pretty much everything else that he loves to eat.
08/13/2007
00:19
The Colbert Report
S3
Sign Off - Americone Dream
Stephen gives a quick plug for Americone Dream and says it's delicious with salt.
08/13/2007
05:49
The Colbert Report
S3
ThreatDown - Bats
Stephen warns us about loose monkeys, bats that set off fire alarms, an androgynous panda bear and Karl Rove.
08/13/2007
00:15
The Colbert Report
S3
Intro - 8/13/07
Stephen tries to introduce the show but freaks out. He can't find his camera and he can't find his pills.
08/13/2007
03:00
The Colbert Report
S3
The Word - White Guy
With Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton presenting some serious competition, Stephen suggests that John Edwards declare himself a black woman.
08/13/2007
01:20
The Colbert Report
S3
DNA: Could It Happen To You? - Incrimination
Stephen discovers he is the next in a long line of famous people who have DNA.
08/14/2007
06:22
The Colbert Report
S3
Jerry Miller
DNA freed Jerry Miller after 26 years in prison. Stephen presents him with a card.
08/14/2007
05:27
The Colbert Report
S3
Dr. Spencer Wells
Stephen's grandfather collected over 100,000 issues of National Geographic
08/14/2007
05:58
The Colbert Report
S3
DNA: Could It Happen To You? - Jackknife
When a tanker truck full of Formula 401 jackknifes, Stephen decides to learn more about DNA.
08/14/2007
03:35
The Colbert Report
S3
The Word - Potential
Alberto Gonzales could become a one-man justice system, like RoboCop.
08/15/2007
00:44
The Colbert Report
S3
Sign Off - Doctor's Orders
Stephen thinks the e-collar his doctor instructed him to wear is totally unnecessary.
08/15/2007
01:45
The Colbert Report
S3
Jewish Colbert Ancestry
If Stephen's Jewish grandmother had testicles, she would be his Jewish grandfather.
08/15/2007
05:37
The Colbert Report
S3
Michael Wallis
Michael Wallis is the author of "The Lincoln Highway," which goes from San Francisco to Times Square. Stephen assumes it's for shuttling gay people to Broadway musicals.
08/15/2007
00:30
The Colbert Report
S3
Intro - 8/15/07
In tonight's episode, Stephen discusses driving with author Michael Wallis, and Alberto Gonzales gets the power to fast track executions.
08/15/2007
01:46
The Colbert Report
S3
Monkey on the Lam - Oliver
Beware! A monkey escaped from the Tupelo Zoo after he picked the lock to his cage again.
08/15/2007
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