The Colbert Report
Season 3 • 05/21/2007
Jared Diamond explains how Eurasians took over the world.
Tom DeLayThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen asks Tom DeLay, author of "No Retreat, No Surrender," how to get rid of this country's Democrat infestation.
Randy KearseThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen asks Randy Kearse, author of "Changin' Your Game Plan," if he has any advice for a certain former majority leader.
Intro - 5/17/07The Colbert ReportS3
In tonight's episode, Stephen sits down with former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay and learns the best way to use your time in prison.
Baby Gun PermitThe Colbert ReportS3
A child should be at least 18 months old before he can own a gun.
Cheating Death - Internal DecapitationThe Colbert ReportS3
Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA dispenses the health advice, mostly focusing around substitutes for Vaxadrin.
The Word - His WayThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen compares Paul Wolfowitz's exit from the World Bank to his own exit from The Daily Show.
Presidential FraternityThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen takes issue with Jimmy Carter for apparently growing a pair and criticizing the sitting president.
God Loves a Big Screen TVThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen still believes the pope is infallible, except when it comes to his views on capitalism.
Intro - 5/21/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen provides all the news, minus a little something for himself.
Jared DiamondThe Colbert ReportS3
Jared Diamond explains how a conflagration of agriculture and resources helped Eurasians conquer the world.
Intro - 5/22/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen chastises the NBA for not letting their players punch people in the stands.
Barack's a LiarThe Colbert ReportS3
Barack Obama's inability to remember what magazine he read when he was nine is all Stephen needs to call him a liar.
Popularity ContestThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen is outraged that someone would insinuate "American Idol" is merely a popularity contest.
Sign Off - Lesson ForgottenThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen learns an important lesson about writing down important lessons.
ThreatDown - EnvironmentalistsThe Colbert ReportS3
Environmentalists are on the list for setting up trust funds for bears.
John AmaechiThe Colbert ReportS3
Former center John Amaechi joins Stephen to discuss how hard it was to remember that he was the gay one in the NBA.
The Word - Party of ChangeThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen is relieved to find that the Democrats' talk of ethics reform merely meant that the public should reform their idea of right and wrong.
Intro - 5/23/07The Colbert ReportS3
The Democrats back down on a timetable for troop withdrawal, while the House and Senate forge a compromise on immigration.
ThreatDown - Pellicano!The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen left Anthony Pellicano a few voicemails back in the late 90s, but he has nothing to be ashamed of, or incarcerated for.
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