The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Rafters
Season 3 • 05/17/2007
Stephen re-retires Tom Delay's district.
The Colbert ReportS3 Howard Dean
Stephen asks Howard Dean, hypothetically, which candidate would he support: Arack Bobama or Mallory Vinton?
The Colbert ReportS3 Formidable Opponent - Peanuts
President Bush is the Lucy in Chief and we have to trust his handling of the Iraq ball. Don't do it, Charlie Brown!
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Level Playing Field
Like Rudy Giuliani, Paralympic sprinter Oscar Pistorius is simply turning a misfortune into an advantage.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 5/16/07
Stephen asks if athletes with prosthetics should compete in the Olympics, how much time we should give the surge in Iraq, and how Howard Dean rigged the midterm elections.
The Colbert ReportS3 Second Republican Debate
Republican presidential candidates --you can say you're pro-torture all you want, but actions scream louder than words.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Hammer Is Here!
Stephen gets fired up for his interview with Tom DeLay, and Greenpeace rebuilds Noah's ark.
The Colbert ReportS3 Tom DeLay
Stephen asks Tom DeLay, author of "No Retreat, No Surrender," how to get rid of this country's Democrat infestation.
The Colbert ReportS3 Randy Kearse
Stephen asks Randy Kearse, author of "Changin' Your Game Plan," if he has any advice for a certain former majority leader.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 5/17/07
In tonight's episode, Stephen sits down with former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay and learns the best way to use your time in prison.
The Colbert ReportS3 Baby Gun Permit
A child should be at least 18 months old before he can own a gun.
The Colbert ReportS3 Jared Diamond
Jared Diamond explains how a conflagration of agriculture and resources helped Eurasians conquer the world.
The Colbert ReportS3 Cheating Death - Internal Decapitation
Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA dispenses the health advice, mostly focusing around substitutes for Vaxadrin.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - His Way
Stephen compares Paul Wolfowitz's exit from the World Bank to his own exit from The Daily Show.
The Colbert ReportS3 Presidential Fraternity
Stephen takes issue with Jimmy Carter for apparently growing a pair and criticizing the sitting president.
The Colbert ReportS3 God Loves a Big Screen TV
Stephen still believes the pope is infallible, except when it comes to his views on capitalism.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 5/21/07
Stephen provides all the news, minus a little something for himself.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 5/22/07
Stephen chastises the NBA for not letting their players punch people in the stands.
The Colbert ReportS3 Barack's a Liar
Barack Obama's inability to remember what magazine he read when he was nine is all Stephen needs to call him a liar.
The Colbert ReportS3 Popularity Contest
Stephen is outraged that someone would insinuate "American Idol" is merely a popularity contest.
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