The Colbert Report
Guns for Roses
Season 5 • 03/03/2009
If Stephen keeps his gun, he can get as many roses as he wants.
The Colbert ReportS5 Snow in the Studio
Stephen questions the wisdom of his retractable dome after a Nor'easter dumps snow in the studio.
The Colbert ReportS5 Conservative Rap Battle - Michael Steele Gets Served
Maybe Michael Steele doesn't understand the rules of a rap battle.
The Colbert ReportS5 David Byrne
Late at night, who does David Byrne fear David Byrne is?
The Colbert ReportS5 P.K. Winsome - Defective Obama Collectibles
P.K. Winsome refuses to apologize for his faulty Obama collectibles from an undisclosed location.
The Colbert ReportS5 Beer Pong Herpes Outbreak
Stephen knew there was a correlation between beer pong and herpes, he just didn't know it could happen during the game.
The Colbert ReportS5 Mark Bittman
Mark Bittman says we eat without thinking about what is good for us, and what's good for the planet.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Murderer Was Derek
For those of you just tuning in, the murderer was Derek.
The Colbert ReportS5 Space Module: Colbert - Name NASA's Node 3 After Stephen
Colbert Nation is officially mobilized to get NASA's new space station node named "Colbert."
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/3/09
President Obama taxes the rich to pay for universal health care, and South Carolina may finally end gun prostitution.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Share the Wealth
If we're paying for the poor's health care, we need to make sure they stay healthy.
The Colbert ReportS5 Guns for Roses
Stephen doesn't like the idea of putting all these roses out on the streets with their pointy thorns.
The Colbert ReportS5 Carl Wilson
Carl Wilson tries to understand the popularity of Celine Dion in "Let's Talk About Love."
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/4/09
Will NASA name part of the space station after Stephen if he changes his name to Stephen Urine Filtration System?
The Colbert ReportS5 Space Module: Colbert - Scientology's New Galactic Overlord
Stephen is ahead of Xenu in NASA's space station module votes, making him Scientology's new galactic overlord.
The Colbert ReportS5 Doom Bunker - Jack Jacobs and Stephen Moore
Stephen makes up horrific doomsday scenarios for Jack Jacobs and Stephen Moore to discuss.
The Colbert ReportS5 Doom Bunker - Glenn Beck's "War Room"
Stephen encourages Glenn Beck to crank up the crazy and rip off the knob.
The Colbert ReportS5 Obama's Swing Set
Stephen has to respect Barack Obama for putting together a swing set on the South Lawn.
The Colbert ReportS5 Steven Johnson
Steven Johnson talks about Joseph Priestley, the man who first realized that plants actually create the oxygen we breathe.
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