The Colbert Report
Clarence Thomas' New Job
Season 5 • 04/14/2009
Justice Clarence Thomas should be appointed the job he clearly wants: Maytag repairman.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Enemy Within - Hedgehogs
Hedgehogs were illegal in Kansas until one obsessed 10-year-old played the cute card.
The Colbert ReportS5 Stephen's Severed Head
Stephen earns 2,634 weeks of workers' comp for severing his head.
The Colbert ReportS5 Bart Ehrman
Stephen discusses Bart Ehrman's theory that the Bible contradicts itself.
The Colbert ReportS5 Workers' Comp Temptation
The New York Times' worker's compensation chart for severed limbs continues to tempt Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS5 ThreatDown - Robert Gates, Dog Seders & Obama
Robert Gates chops our defense budget, dogs get their own Seders, and Obama bows before the Saudi king.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 4/14/09
The government tries to regulate small loans, and Susie Orbach wants us to rethink our body image.
The Colbert ReportS5 Susie Orbach
If Susie Orbach drops five pounds, she could be talking about her book "Bodies" on The Daily Show.
The Colbert ReportS5 Space Module: Colbert - Sunita Williams
However far the space station goes, Stephen's treadmill will always have gone a few miles more.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Have Your Cake And Eat It, Too
The Payday Loan Reform Act drags the payday loan industry out of the darkness and into the anemic firefly flicker of nominal oversight.
The Colbert ReportS5 Clarence Thomas' New Job
Justice Clarence Thomas appreciates the little things in life, like the miracle of dishwashers.
The Colbert ReportS5 Better Know a District - Illinois' 18th - Aaron Schock
Stephen may have chemistry with Congressman Aaron Schock, but he's keeping it professional.
The Colbert ReportS5 Obama Denies Habeas Corpus
Barack Obama helps America escape from the Bill of Rights lovers who keep humping the leg of habeas corpus.
The Colbert ReportS5 Homework Assignment
Stephen wants a summary of the show with special emphasis on theme and literary devices on his desk tomorrow morning.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tax Atax
Glenn Beck holds his tea party in the only location that makes sense: the Alamo.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 4/15/09
It's tax day, or as many Americans call it, "Oh my God, it's 11:30."
The Colbert ReportS5 Jim Lehrer
It takes real courage for Jim Lehrer to be boring five nights a week on television.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 4/16/09
Gay marriage threatens New York. On the plus side, Stephen will finally be able to marry himself.
The Colbert ReportS5 Indian Elections - Kanishk Tharoor
Kanishk Tharoor describes India's beautifully choreographed dance of democracy.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Colbert Coalition's Anti-Gay Marriage Ad
There's a giant gay storm gathering, and before long the winds will be blowing each other.
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