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The Colbert Report
Susie Orbach
Season 5 • 04/14/2009
Issues like the economy and government aren't worthwhile if Stephen is fat and ugly.
More
Watching
04:42
The Colbert Report
S5
The Enemy Within - Hedgehogs
Hedgehogs were illegal in Kansas until one obsessed 10-year-old played the cute card.
04/09/2009
00:24
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen's Severed Head
Stephen earns 2,634 weeks of workers' comp for severing his head.
04/09/2009
06:30
The Colbert Report
S5
Bart Ehrman
Stephen discusses Bart Ehrman's theory that the Bible contradicts itself.
04/09/2009
02:19
The Colbert Report
S5
Workers' Comp Temptation
The New York Times' worker's compensation chart for severed limbs continues to tempt Stephen.
04/09/2009
05:38
The Colbert Report
S5
ThreatDown - Robert Gates, Dog Seders & Obama
Robert Gates chops our defense budget, dogs get their own Seders, and Obama bows before the Saudi king.
04/09/2009
00:36
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 4/14/09
The government tries to regulate small loans, and Susie Orbach wants us to rethink our body image.
04/14/2009
06:33
The Colbert Report
S5
Space Module: Colbert - Sunita Williams
However far the space station goes, Stephen's treadmill will always have gone a few miles more.
04/14/2009
04:16
The Colbert Report
S5
The Word - Have Your Cake And Eat It, Too
The Payday Loan Reform Act drags the payday loan industry out of the darkness and into the anemic firefly flicker of nominal oversight.
04/14/2009
00:07
The Colbert Report
S5
Goodnight, Helen
Stephen wishes Helen a good night.
04/14/2009
03:56
The Colbert Report
S5
Clarence Thomas' New Job
Justice Clarence Thomas appreciates the little things in life, like the miracle of dishwashers.
04/14/2009
04:33
The Colbert Report
S5
Susie Orbach
If Susie Orbach drops five pounds, she could be talking about her book "Bodies" on The Daily Show.
04/14/2009
06:59
The Colbert Report
S5
Better Know a District - Illinois' 18th - Aaron Schock
Stephen may have chemistry with Congressman Aaron Schock, but he's keeping it professional.
04/15/2009
01:53
The Colbert Report
S5
Obama Denies Habeas Corpus
Barack Obama helps America escape from the Bill of Rights lovers who keep humping the leg of habeas corpus.
04/15/2009
00:26
The Colbert Report
S5
Homework Assignment
Stephen wants a summary of the show with special emphasis on theme and literary devices on his desk tomorrow morning.
04/15/2009
03:40
The Colbert Report
S5
Tax Atax
Glenn Beck holds his tea party in the only location that makes sense: the Alamo.
04/15/2009
00:34
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 4/15/09
It's tax day, or as many Americans call it, "Oh my God, it's 11:30."
04/15/2009
06:29
The Colbert Report
S5
Jim Lehrer
It takes real courage for Jim Lehrer to be boring five nights a week on television.
04/15/2009
00:29
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 4/16/09
Gay marriage threatens New York. On the plus side, Stephen will finally be able to marry himself.
04/16/2009
05:06
The Colbert Report
S5
Indian Elections - Kanishk Tharoor
Kanishk Tharoor describes India's beautifully choreographed dance of democracy.
04/16/2009
06:11
The Colbert Report
S5
The Colbert Coalition's Anti-Gay Marriage Ad
There's a giant gay storm gathering, and before long the winds will be blowing each other.
04/16/2009
00:03
The Colbert Report
S5
Goodnight Salute
Goodnight, everybody.
04/16/2009
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