The Colbert Report
Obama Denies Habeas Corpus
Season 5 • 04/15/2009
Barack Obama follows the long-standing principle of American justice: guilty until proven forgotten about.
Susie OrbachThe Colbert ReportS5
If Susie Orbach drops five pounds, she could be talking about her book "Bodies" on The Daily Show.
Space Module: Colbert - Sunita WilliamsThe Colbert ReportS5
However far the space station goes, Stephen's treadmill will always have gone a few miles more.
The Word - Have Your Cake And Eat It, TooThe Colbert ReportS5
The Payday Loan Reform Act drags the payday loan industry out of the darkness and into the anemic firefly flicker of nominal oversight.
Clarence Thomas' New JobThe Colbert ReportS5
Justice Clarence Thomas appreciates the little things in life, like the miracle of dishwashers.
Better Know a District - Illinois' 18th - Aaron SchockThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen may have chemistry with Congressman Aaron Schock, but he's keeping it professional.
Homework AssignmentThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen wants a summary of the show with special emphasis on theme and literary devices on his desk tomorrow morning.
Tax AtaxThe Colbert ReportS5
Glenn Beck holds his tea party in the only location that makes sense: the Alamo.
Intro - 4/15/09The Colbert ReportS5
It's tax day, or as many Americans call it, "Oh my God, it's 11:30."
Jim LehrerThe Colbert ReportS5
It takes real courage for Jim Lehrer to be boring five nights a week on television.
Obama Denies Habeas CorpusThe Colbert ReportS5
Barack Obama helps America escape from the Bill of Rights lovers who keep humping the leg of habeas corpus.
Intro - 4/16/09The Colbert ReportS5
Gay marriage threatens New York. On the plus side, Stephen will finally be able to marry himself.
Indian Elections - Kanishk TharoorThe Colbert ReportS5
Kanishk Tharoor describes India's beautifully choreographed dance of democracy.
The Colbert Coalition's Anti-Gay Marriage AdThe Colbert ReportS5
There's a giant gay storm gathering, and before long the winds will be blowing each other.
Douglas KmiecThe Colbert ReportS5
Douglas Kmiec doesn't want the state to adopt any religion's perspective and impose it on Americans.
Teabagging ProtestsThe Colbert ReportS5
Perverts sully the patriotic act of a taxpayer rising up, standing over his government and delivering his opinion into the mouth of power.
Joe ArpaioThe Colbert ReportS5
Sheriff Joe Arpaio denies that he focuses too much on illegal immigration.
Maersk Alabama - Ken QuinnThe Colbert ReportS5
Second Mate Ken Quinn and Stephen are returning to sea to hunt pirates in a two-man paddleboat.
Stephen's Only RegretsThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen's only regret is all the great stuff that was cut out because the audience wouldn't stop cheering.
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