The Colbert Report

Homework Assignment

Season 5 • 04/15/2009

Stephen expects a summary of tonight's episode on his desk tomorrow morning.

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Watching

04:33

The Colbert ReportS5
Susie Orbach

If Susie Orbach drops five pounds, she could be talking about her book "Bodies" on The Daily Show.
04/14/2009
06:33

The Colbert ReportS5
Space Module: Colbert - Sunita Williams

However far the space station goes, Stephen's treadmill will always have gone a few miles more.
04/14/2009
04:16

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Have Your Cake And Eat It, Too

The Payday Loan Reform Act drags the payday loan industry out of the darkness and into the anemic firefly flicker of nominal oversight.
04/14/2009
00:07

The Colbert ReportS5
Goodnight, Helen

Stephen wishes Helen a good night.
04/14/2009
03:56

The Colbert ReportS5
Clarence Thomas' New Job

Justice Clarence Thomas appreciates the little things in life, like the miracle of dishwashers.
04/14/2009
06:59

The Colbert ReportS5
Better Know a District - Illinois' 18th - Aaron Schock

Stephen may have chemistry with Congressman Aaron Schock, but he's keeping it professional.
04/15/2009
01:53

The Colbert ReportS5
Obama Denies Habeas Corpus

Barack Obama helps America escape from the Bill of Rights lovers who keep humping the leg of habeas corpus.
04/15/2009
03:40

The Colbert ReportS5
Tax Atax

Glenn Beck holds his tea party in the only location that makes sense: the Alamo.
04/15/2009
00:34

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 4/15/09

It's tax day, or as many Americans call it, "Oh my God, it's 11:30."
04/15/2009
06:29

The Colbert ReportS5
Jim Lehrer

It takes real courage for Jim Lehrer to be boring five nights a week on television.
04/15/2009
00:26

The Colbert ReportS5
Homework Assignment

Stephen wants a summary of the show with special emphasis on theme and literary devices on his desk tomorrow morning.
04/15/2009
00:29

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 4/16/09

Gay marriage threatens New York. On the plus side, Stephen will finally be able to marry himself.
04/16/2009
05:06

The Colbert ReportS5
Indian Elections - Kanishk Tharoor

Kanishk Tharoor describes India's beautifully choreographed dance of democracy.
04/16/2009
06:11

The Colbert ReportS5
The Colbert Coalition's Anti-Gay Marriage Ad

There's a giant gay storm gathering, and before long the winds will be blowing each other.
04/16/2009
00:03

The Colbert ReportS5
Goodnight Salute

Goodnight, everybody.
04/16/2009
06:01

The Colbert ReportS5
Douglas Kmiec

Douglas Kmiec doesn't want the state to adopt any religion's perspective and impose it on Americans.
04/16/2009
02:11

The Colbert ReportS5
Teabagging Protests

Perverts sully the patriotic act of a taxpayer rising up, standing over his government and delivering his opinion into the mouth of power.
04/16/2009
07:00

The Colbert ReportS5
Joe Arpaio

Sheriff Joe Arpaio denies that he focuses too much on illegal immigration.
04/20/2009
02:52

The Colbert ReportS5
Maersk Alabama - Ken Quinn

Second Mate Ken Quinn and Stephen are returning to sea to hunt pirates in a two-man paddleboat.
04/20/2009
00:16

The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen's Only Regrets

Stephen's only regret is all the great stuff that was cut out because the audience wouldn't stop cheering.
04/20/2009
03:17

The Colbert ReportS5
Anger's Aweigh

Granting vigilantes the right to shoot pirates on the high seas is the free market at its best.
04/20/2009
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