The Colbert Report
Intro - 3/16/09
Season 5 • 03/16/2009
At least your tax money is going to executive bonuses instead of welfare.
Mahmoud's Non-Consensual Endorsement DealThe Colbert ReportS5
If Iran is going to use Stephen to sell products he hasn't endorsed over there, he'll use Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to sell products over here.
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Barreleye FishThe Colbert ReportS5
National Geographic releases footage of a fish that has a see-through head and twitching green sacks of goo for eyes.
It Could Be Worse - Simon JohnsonThe Colbert ReportS5
Simon Johnson explains why America's economy resembles an unstable, emerging market.
Peter SingerThe Colbert ReportS5
Peter Singer urges Stephen to give money to poor people rather than enjoying it himself.
Stephen's Angry Mob Will Crush AIGThe Colbert ReportS5
The government can't stop AIG, but Stephen's angry mob can.
Better Know a Governor - Mark Sanford UpdateThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen asks South Carolina's Mark Sanford what barbeque sauce he wants for his last meal.
Neil GaimanThe Colbert ReportS5
Neil Gaiman replaces being scared of dead people with being afraid of living people in his new book "The Graveyard Book."
The New Deal - Jonathan ChaitThe Colbert ReportS5
Jonathan Chait believes the New Deal was successful because it eased people's misery.
Intro - 3/16/09The Colbert ReportS5
Your tax money is being spent on executive bonuses. At least it's not going to welfare.
Persian Gulf Countdown ClockThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen is one day closer, or further away, to going to the Persian Gulf.
Shout Out - The Colbert Report OverseasThe Colbert ReportS5
The Colbert Report is definitely going to visit our troops sometime in the near or distant future -- or past.
Intro - 3/17/09The Colbert ReportS5
How will the wealthy weather the economic crisis? Easy, they have weather-control machines.
World of Nahlej - ShmeatThe Colbert ReportS5
PETA funds a scientist developing meat from tissue culture.
David GrannThe Colbert ReportS5
David Grann follows the footsteps of an explorer searching for a lost civilization.
Colbert Aluminum - Cigar Nubs, Faux Poor & BlixsethThe Colbert ReportS5
Cigars get shorter, the British elite act poor, and Tim Blixseth sells his private island.
The Word - Keeping Our HeadsThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen propses that CEOs be stripped naked and locked together in a Thunderdome scenario with screaming taxpayer spectators.
Intro - 3/18/09The Colbert ReportS5
Scientists dig up something unexpected, and no, it's not a social life.
Tip/Wag - Mississippi, Talk Shows & SyFyThe Colbert ReportS5
Mississippi ends child selling, talk shows move to Connecticut, and the SciFi Channel changes its name.
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