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The Colbert Report
Persian Gulf Countdown Clock
Season 5 • 03/17/2009
Stephen updates the Persian Gulf Countdown Clock.
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Watching
00:19
Stephen Wants to Hug You
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen wants to hug every one of you.
03/16/2009
05:00
Better Know a Governor - Mark Sanford Update
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen asks South Carolina's Mark Sanford what barbeque sauce he wants for his last meal.
03/16/2009
05:31
Neil Gaiman
The Colbert Report
S5
Neil Gaiman replaces being scared of dead people with being afraid of living people in his new book "The Graveyard Book."
03/16/2009
00:33
Intro - 3/16/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Your tax money is being spent on executive bonuses. At least it's not going to welfare.
03/16/2009
05:21
The New Deal - Jonathan Chait
The Colbert Report
S5
Jonathan Chait believes the New Deal was successful because it eased people's misery.
03/16/2009
03:34
Shout Out - The Colbert Report Overseas
The Colbert Report
S5
The Colbert Report is definitely going to visit our troops sometime in the near or distant future -- or past.
03/17/2009
00:32
Intro - 3/17/09
The Colbert Report
S5
How will the wealthy weather the economic crisis? Easy, they have weather-control machines.
03/17/2009
05:04
World of Nahlej - Shmeat
The Colbert Report
S5
PETA funds a scientist developing meat from tissue culture.
03/17/2009
05:51
David Grann
The Colbert Report
S5
David Grann follows the footsteps of an explorer searching for a lost civilization.
03/17/2009
04:20
Colbert Aluminum - Cigar Nubs, Faux Poor & Blixseth
The Colbert Report
S5
Cigars get shorter, the British elite act poor, and Tim Blixseth sells his private island.
03/17/2009
00:23
Persian Gulf Countdown Clock
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen is one day closer, or further away, to going to the Persian Gulf.
03/17/2009
07:10
The Word - Keeping Our Heads
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen propses that CEOs be stripped naked and locked together in a Thunderdome scenario with screaming taxpayer spectators.
03/18/2009
00:31
Intro - 3/18/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Scientists dig up something unexpected, and no, it's not a social life.
03/18/2009
03:36
Tip/Wag - Mississippi, Talk Shows & SyFy
The Colbert Report
S5
Mississippi ends child selling, talk shows move to Connecticut, and the SciFi Channel changes its name.
03/18/2009
00:11
Sam's Club Time
The Colbert Report
S5
That's it for time until Stephen runs to Sam's Club and picks up some more.
03/18/2009
01:24
Predator X Discovery
The Colbert Report
S5
Jesus buried the bones of Predator X under the ocean 6,000 years ago to test our faith.
03/18/2009
06:50
Juan Cole
The Colbert Report
S5
Juan Cole doesn't advocate a soft approach, but he wants to take the Muslim world's views into account.
03/18/2009
03:17
Bill Posey Alligator Rumors
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen demands a DNA test to determine whether Congressman Bill Posey is part alligator.
03/19/2009
03:42
When Animals Attack Our Morals - Chimps, Lizards & Spiders
The Colbert Report
S5
A chimp throws rocks at Swedes, male lizards imitate females, and spiders perform miracles.
03/19/2009
00:36
Intro - 3/19/09
The Colbert Report
S5
A new bill would require presidential candidates to produce birth records. Mitt Romney, you can just show your serial number.
03/19/2009
05:45
John McCardell
The Colbert Report
S5
John McCardell believes the current drinking age law drives alcohol consumption out of public view, putting young people at greater risk.
03/19/2009
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