The Colbert Report
Intro - 3/17/09
Season 5 • 03/17/2009
The wealthy will weather the economic crisis with weather-control machines.
Better Know a Governor - Mark Sanford UpdateThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen asks South Carolina's Mark Sanford what barbeque sauce he wants for his last meal.
Neil GaimanThe Colbert ReportS5
Neil Gaiman replaces being scared of dead people with being afraid of living people in his new book "The Graveyard Book."
Intro - 3/16/09The Colbert ReportS5
Your tax money is being spent on executive bonuses. At least it's not going to welfare.
The New Deal - Jonathan ChaitThe Colbert ReportS5
Jonathan Chait believes the New Deal was successful because it eased people's misery.
Persian Gulf Countdown ClockThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen is one day closer, or further away, to going to the Persian Gulf.
Shout Out - The Colbert Report OverseasThe Colbert ReportS5
The Colbert Report is definitely going to visit our troops sometime in the near or distant future -- or past.
World of Nahlej - ShmeatThe Colbert ReportS5
PETA funds a scientist developing meat from tissue culture.
David GrannThe Colbert ReportS5
David Grann follows the footsteps of an explorer searching for a lost civilization.
Colbert Aluminum - Cigar Nubs, Faux Poor & BlixsethThe Colbert ReportS5
Cigars get shorter, the British elite act poor, and Tim Blixseth sells his private island.
Intro - 3/17/09The Colbert ReportS5
How will the wealthy weather the economic crisis? Easy, they have weather-control machines.
The Word - Keeping Our HeadsThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen propses that CEOs be stripped naked and locked together in a Thunderdome scenario with screaming taxpayer spectators.
Intro - 3/18/09The Colbert ReportS5
Scientists dig up something unexpected, and no, it's not a social life.
Tip/Wag - Mississippi, Talk Shows & SyFyThe Colbert ReportS5
Mississippi ends child selling, talk shows move to Connecticut, and the SciFi Channel changes its name.
Sam's Club TimeThe Colbert ReportS5
That's it for time until Stephen runs to Sam's Club and picks up some more.
Predator X DiscoveryThe Colbert ReportS5
Jesus buried the bones of Predator X under the ocean 6,000 years ago to test our faith.
Juan ColeThe Colbert ReportS5
Juan Cole doesn't advocate a soft approach, but he wants to take the Muslim world's views into account.
Bill Posey Alligator RumorsThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen demands a DNA test to determine whether Congressman Bill Posey is part alligator.
When Animals Attack Our Morals - Chimps, Lizards & SpidersThe Colbert ReportS5
A chimp throws rocks at Swedes, male lizards imitate females, and spiders perform miracles.
Intro - 3/19/09The Colbert ReportS5
A new bill would require presidential candidates to produce birth records. Mitt Romney, you can just show your serial number.
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