The Colbert Report
Intro - 3/18/09
Season 5 • 03/18/2009
Scientists dig us something unexpected, and it's not a social life.
The Colbert ReportS5 Shout Out - The Colbert Report Overseas
The Colbert Report is definitely going to visit our troops sometime in the near or distant future -- or past.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/17/09
How will the wealthy weather the economic crisis? Easy, they have weather-control machines.
The Colbert ReportS5 World of Nahlej - Shmeat
PETA funds a scientist developing meat from tissue culture.
The Colbert ReportS5 David Grann
David Grann follows the footsteps of an explorer searching for a lost civilization.
The Colbert ReportS5 Colbert Aluminum - Cigar Nubs, Faux Poor & Blixseth
Cigars get shorter, the British elite act poor, and Tim Blixseth sells his private island.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Keeping Our Heads
Stephen propses that CEOs be stripped naked and locked together in a Thunderdome scenario with screaming taxpayer spectators.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Mississippi, Talk Shows & SyFy
Mississippi ends child selling, talk shows move to Connecticut, and the SciFi Channel changes its name.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sam's Club Time
That's it for time until Stephen runs to Sam's Club and picks up some more.
The Colbert ReportS5 Predator X Discovery
Jesus buried the bones of Predator X under the ocean 6,000 years ago to test our faith.
The Colbert ReportS5 Juan Cole
Juan Cole doesn't advocate a soft approach, but he wants to take the Muslim world's views into account.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/18/09
Scientists dig up something unexpected, and no, it's not a social life.
The Colbert ReportS5 Bill Posey Alligator Rumors
Stephen demands a DNA test to determine whether Congressman Bill Posey is part alligator.
The Colbert ReportS5 When Animals Attack Our Morals - Chimps, Lizards & Spiders
A chimp throws rocks at Swedes, male lizards imitate females, and spiders perform miracles.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/19/09
A new bill would require presidential candidates to produce birth records. Mitt Romney, you can just show your serial number.
The Colbert ReportS5 John McCardell
John McCardell believes the current drinking age law drives alcohol consumption out of public view, putting young people at greater risk.
The Colbert ReportS5 Conservative Rap Battle - Michael Steele's Response
In accordance with hip-hop's longstanding fairness doctrine, Stephen presents Michael Steele's rap response, remixed on behalf of Michael Steele.
The Colbert ReportS5 Space Module: Colbert - Vote Now
Don't forget to vote for NASA's space node to be named after Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS5 Exclusive - Stephen's Vetting Process Pt. 1
Stephen says his relationship to his audience is like a father to a child...if the father is very, very needy.
The Colbert ReportS5 Exclusive - Stephen's Vetting Process Pt. 2
Stephen has to answer for some things he wrote in "I am America (and So Can You!)."
The Colbert ReportS5 Derrick Pitts
Stephen handles Derrick Pitt's replica of Galileo's telescope with special magic gloves.
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