The Colbert Report
Intro - 3/18/09
Season 5 E 39 • 03/18/2009

Scientists dig up something unexpected, and no, it's not a social life.

Watching

03:34

The Colbert ReportS5 E38
Shout Out - The Colbert Report Overseas

The Colbert Report is definitely going to visit our troops sometime in the near or distant future -- or past.
03/17/2009
00:32

The Colbert ReportS5 E38
Intro - 3/17/09

How will the wealthy weather the economic crisis? Easy, they have weather-control machines.
03/17/2009
05:04

The Colbert ReportS5 E38
World of Nahlej - Shmeat

PETA funds a scientist developing meat from tissue culture.
03/17/2009
05:51

The Colbert ReportS5 E38
David Grann

David Grann follows the footsteps of an explorer searching for a lost civilization.
03/17/2009
04:20

The Colbert ReportS5 E38
Colbert Aluminum - Cigar Nubs, Faux Poor & Blixseth

Cigars get shorter, the British elite act poor, and Tim Blixseth sells his private island.
03/17/2009
07:10

The Colbert ReportS5 E39
The Word - Keeping Our Heads

Stephen propses that CEOs be stripped naked and locked together in a Thunderdome scenario with screaming taxpayer spectators.
03/18/2009
03:36

The Colbert ReportS5 E39
Tip/Wag - Mississippi, Talk Shows & SyFy

Mississippi ends child selling, talk shows move to Connecticut, and the SciFi Channel changes its name.
03/18/2009
00:11

The Colbert ReportS5 E39
Sam's Club Time

That's it for time until Stephen runs to Sam's Club and picks up some more.
03/18/2009
01:24

The Colbert ReportS5 E39
Predator X Discovery

Jesus buried the bones of Predator X under the ocean 6,000 years ago to test our faith.
03/18/2009
06:50

The Colbert ReportS5 E39
Juan Cole

Juan Cole doesn't advocate a soft approach, but he wants to take the Muslim world's views into account.
03/18/2009
00:31

The Colbert ReportS5 E39
Intro - 3/18/09

Scientists dig up something unexpected, and no, it's not a social life.
03/18/2009
03:17

The Colbert ReportS5 E40
Bill Posey Alligator Rumors

Stephen demands a DNA test to determine whether Congressman Bill Posey is part alligator.
03/19/2009
03:42

The Colbert ReportS5 E40
When Animals Attack Our Morals - Chimps, Lizards & Spiders

A chimp throws rocks at Swedes, male lizards imitate females, and spiders perform miracles.
03/19/2009
00:36

The Colbert ReportS5 E40
Intro - 3/19/09

A new bill would require presidential candidates to produce birth records. Mitt Romney, you can just show your serial number.
03/19/2009
05:45

The Colbert ReportS5 E40
John McCardell

John McCardell believes the current drinking age law drives alcohol consumption out of public view, putting young people at greater risk.
03/19/2009
06:07

The Colbert ReportS5 E40
Conservative Rap Battle - Michael Steele's Response

In accordance with hip-hop's longstanding fairness doctrine, Stephen presents Michael Steele's rap response, remixed on behalf of Michael Steele.
03/19/2009
00:23

The Colbert ReportS5 E40
Space Module: Colbert - Vote Now

Don't forget to vote for NASA's space node to be named after Stephen.
03/19/2009
00:37

The Colbert ReportS5
Exclusive - Stephen's Vetting Process Pt. 1

Stephen says his relationship to his audience is like a father to a child...if the father is very, very needy.
03/24/2009
01:33

The Colbert ReportS5
Exclusive - Stephen's Vetting Process Pt. 2

Stephen has to answer for some things he wrote in "I am America (and So Can You!)."
03/25/2009
06:04

The Colbert ReportS5 E41
Derrick Pitts

Stephen handles Derrick Pitt's replica of Galileo's telescope with special magic gloves.
03/30/2009
03:18

The Colbert ReportS5 E41
Space Module: Colbert - Democracy in Orbit

Representative Chaka Fattah insists that Stephen won the NASA node-naming contest fair and square.
03/30/2009