The Colbert Report
Intro - 3/18/09
Season 5 E 39 • 03/18/2009
Scientists dig up something unexpected, and no, it's not a social life.

Watching

03:34
The Colbert ReportS5 E38
Shout Out - The Colbert Report Overseas
The Colbert Report is definitely going to visit our troops sometime in the near or distant future -- or past.
03/17/2009
00:32
The Colbert ReportS5 E38
Intro - 3/17/09
How will the wealthy weather the economic crisis? Easy, they have weather-control machines.
03/17/2009
05:04
The Colbert ReportS5 E38
World of Nahlej - Shmeat
PETA funds a scientist developing meat from tissue culture.
03/17/2009
05:51
The Colbert ReportS5 E38
David Grann
David Grann follows the footsteps of an explorer searching for a lost civilization.
03/17/2009
04:20
The Colbert ReportS5 E38
Colbert Aluminum - Cigar Nubs, Faux Poor & Blixseth
Cigars get shorter, the British elite act poor, and Tim Blixseth sells his private island.
03/17/2009
07:10
The Colbert ReportS5 E39
The Word - Keeping Our Heads
Stephen propses that CEOs be stripped naked and locked together in a Thunderdome scenario with screaming taxpayer spectators.
03/18/2009
03:36
The Colbert ReportS5 E39
Tip/Wag - Mississippi, Talk Shows & SyFy
Mississippi ends child selling, talk shows move to Connecticut, and the SciFi Channel changes its name.
03/18/2009
00:11
The Colbert ReportS5 E39
Sam's Club Time
That's it for time until Stephen runs to Sam's Club and picks up some more.
03/18/2009
01:24
The Colbert ReportS5 E39
Predator X Discovery
Jesus buried the bones of Predator X under the ocean 6,000 years ago to test our faith.
03/18/2009
06:50
The Colbert ReportS5 E39
Juan Cole
Juan Cole doesn't advocate a soft approach, but he wants to take the Muslim world's views into account.
03/18/2009
00:31
The Colbert ReportS5 E39
Intro - 3/18/09
Scientists dig up something unexpected, and no, it's not a social life.
03/18/2009
03:17
The Colbert ReportS5 E40
Bill Posey Alligator Rumors
Stephen demands a DNA test to determine whether Congressman Bill Posey is part alligator.
03/19/2009
03:42
The Colbert ReportS5 E40
When Animals Attack Our Morals - Chimps, Lizards & Spiders
A chimp throws rocks at Swedes, male lizards imitate females, and spiders perform miracles.
03/19/2009
00:36
The Colbert ReportS5 E40
Intro - 3/19/09
A new bill would require presidential candidates to produce birth records. Mitt Romney, you can just show your serial number.
03/19/2009
05:45
The Colbert ReportS5 E40
John McCardell
John McCardell believes the current drinking age law drives alcohol consumption out of public view, putting young people at greater risk.
03/19/2009
06:07
The Colbert ReportS5 E40
Conservative Rap Battle - Michael Steele's Response
In accordance with hip-hop's longstanding fairness doctrine, Stephen presents Michael Steele's rap response, remixed on behalf of Michael Steele.
03/19/2009
00:23
The Colbert ReportS5 E40
Space Module: Colbert - Vote Now
Don't forget to vote for NASA's space node to be named after Stephen.
03/19/2009
00:37
The Colbert ReportS5
Exclusive - Stephen's Vetting Process Pt. 1
Stephen says his relationship to his audience is like a father to a child...if the father is very, very needy.
03/24/2009
01:33
The Colbert ReportS5
Exclusive - Stephen's Vetting Process Pt. 2
Stephen has to answer for some things he wrote in "I am America (and So Can You!)."
03/25/2009
06:04
The Colbert ReportS5 E41
Derrick Pitts
Stephen handles Derrick Pitt's replica of Galileo's telescope with special magic gloves.
03/30/2009
03:18
The Colbert ReportS5 E41
Space Module: Colbert - Democracy in Orbit
Representative Chaka Fattah insists that Stephen won the NASA node-naming contest fair and square.
03/30/2009
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