The Colbert Report
Season 3 • 02/08/2007
Stephen wants his Jesus and Chris Hedges's Jesus to duke it out to decide who's right.
The Colbert ReportS3 Tek Jansen - From the Future
Teks from further and further in the future keep showing up to save kids from each other, deliver messages, and have sex (by accident).
The Colbert ReportS3 Steven Pinker
Stephen tells Steven Pinker that he doesn't fear evolution because he doesn't believe in it.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 2/7/07
Stephen asks if the Democrats should respond to the Republicans' nonbinding resolution with a nonbinding resolution, and expects to have his mind read by guest Steven Pinker.
The Colbert ReportS3 California Values Watch
If Loretta Sanchez's sister Linda is Nicky Hilton, Loretta is Paris.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Silence
America's enemies hang on every word that passes through the Senate. That's why it's important for senators to say nothing.
The Colbert ReportS3 Stephen for President - A Sign
In response to the overwhelming Colbert-for-president forces, Stephen assembles an exploratory committee to determine if he's going to assemble an exploratory committee.
The Colbert ReportS3 Was It Really That Bad? - Salem Witch Trials
Stephen compares the trial of Lewis "Scooter" Libby to the Salem witch trials and shows why it really wasn't that bad.
The Colbert ReportS3 Space Madness
Stephen defends Lisa Nowak, not so much for confronting her romantic rival, but for wearing a diaper -- plenty of busy professionals, like Bill Gates, wear diapers.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 2/8/07
Stephen finds out if America is ready for a black president and if the Scooter Libby trial is actually a witch hunt. Then, Chris Hedges talks about the bad kind of fascism.
The Colbert ReportS3 Debra Dickerson
Stephen examines whether or not Barack Obama is black with the help of Debra Dickerson.
The Colbert ReportS3 Chris Hedges
Chris Hedges tells Stephen why the Christian right are America fascists and why his views of Christianity proves that he was home schooled.
The Colbert ReportS3 Tip/Wag - John Howard
Stephen tips the hat from the gays to eleven feet of snow and to John Howard, then wags his finger at a talking urinal cake and John Howard.
The Colbert ReportS3 Intro - 2/12/07
The pentagon may get a second chance to manipulate intelligence, identical snowflakes fall in upstate New York, and the forecast is sunny with a chance of nailing.
The Colbert ReportS3 Michael Oppenheimer
Dr. Michael Oppenheimer says Stephen can help address the climate crisis with only minor sacrifices. Stephen says he's got the wrong guy.
The Colbert ReportS3 Alpha Dog of the Week - Amitabh Bachchan
This week's Alpha Dog is Bollywood film star Amitabh Bachchan, who survived a camel kick to the head due to an indestructible turban.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Inappropriate
An investigator called Douglas Feith's manipulation of intelligence "inappropriate." Stephen thinks that's a compliment.
The Colbert ReportS3 Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Eight-Child Policy
China is on the rise, and to maintain supremacy, America's going to have to breed like Mormon squirrels.
The Colbert ReportS3 Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Take the Pulse
Stephen takes ordinary Americans' questions about Chinese outsourcing, aphrodisiacs, games, families and bootleg DVDs.
The Colbert ReportS3 Sheryl WuDunn
Stephen asks journalist Sheryl WuDunn whether China is a friend, a foe, or a frenemy.
The Colbert ReportS3 The Word - Apocalypse Mao: Murdered by the Orient's Success - Frenemy
China is surpassing us everywhere, including in coal consumption, military personnel and executions -- because Texas can't do it alone.
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