The Colbert Report
The Word - A Perfect World
Season 5 • 07/21/2009
Journalists should demand to investigate torture, but it's not a perfect world.
Sport Report - Jessica Simpson, Olympic Brothel & Bud LightThe Colbert ReportS5
Tony Romo breaks up with Jessica Simpson, an Olympic hopeful opens a brothel, and Stephen loves the taste of Bud Light.
Reverse Racism - Geoffrey CanadaThe Colbert ReportS5
Geoffrey Canada can't find any area where white men are being disproportionately victimized.
Bob ParkThe Colbert ReportS5
Bob Park doesn't understand why humans need go to space when robots can do a better job.
Reverse RacismThe Colbert ReportS5
As a recent black man, Stephen looks forward to hearing President Obama's NAACP speech.
Better Know a Lobby - AcornThe Colbert ReportS5
Acorn's chief community organizer, Bertha Lewis, needs to know the number of Stephen's sexual partners for her census form.
Sign Off - Stephen's ChipThe Colbert ReportS5
The opinions expressed tonight are exclusively Stephen's -- the chip in his head only makes suggestions.
Aaron CarrollThe Colbert ReportS5
Aaron Carroll believes the single-payer system will cost less, cover everyone and lead to better outcomes.
Intro - 7/21/09The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen will be the mighty oak when he investigates Acorn, and Aaron Carroll believes America should have a single-payer system.
40th Anniversary of the Moon LandingThe Colbert ReportS5
To celebrate the 40th anniversary of the moon landing, Stephen re-airs his historic broadcast from July 20, 1969.
The Word - A Perfect WorldThe Colbert ReportS5
Investigating prisoner abuse will be a political food fight, and that is messier than torture.
Sniper TrifleThe Colbert ReportS5
The only huge surprise about Dick Cheney having his own secret assassination squad is that it didn't include cannibalism.
Intro - 7/22/09The Colbert ReportS5
The truth behind the CIA's secret assassination squad is revealed, and Chris Anderson talks about a future economy where everything is free.
Chris AndersonThe Colbert ReportS5
Chris Anderson explains how it's possible for companies to make money by providing free services.
Pope Wrist WatchThe Colbert ReportS5
The best way to spread wrist awareness is by getting a WristStrong bracelet to Pope Benedict XVI.
Sniper Trifle - Matthew WaxmanThe Colbert ReportS5
Matthew Waxman discusses the legal argument over whether to alert Congress about certain covert action programs.
The Longest Solar Eclipse of the CenturyThe Colbert ReportS5
Xenu returned Asia's sun, but he will devour it again unless India returns America's outsourced jobs and China forgives the national debt.
Zev ChafetsThe Colbert ReportS5
Zev Chafets doesn't have a problem with steroid use in baseball, but he is concerned about its cover-up.
Sign Off - TiVoThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen doesn't want to know how the show ends because he's TiVo'ing it.
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