The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 02/02/2009
Stephen hopes no one remixes this interview with Indaba Music's Dan Zaccagnino.
Intro - 1/29/09The Colbert ReportS5
All 177 House Republicans say no to Obama's stimulus package. Shh! Don't tell them they don't control the House anymore.
Sport Report - Chicken Wing Spokesman Richard LobbThe Colbert ReportS5
Richard Lobb has advice for the man who has to choose between frying chicken wings and educating his kids.
John PodestaThe Colbert ReportS5
John Podesta believes that in the last nine days Barack Obama has shown he can make progress.
Rod Blagojevich Is ImpeachedThe Colbert ReportS5
Rod Blagojevich is impeached even after appearing on all the talk shows.
The Word - The Audacity of NopeThe Colbert ReportS5
If Republicans can't have a perfect bill to stimulate the economy, they'd rather have no economy at all.
So Long, FarewellThe Colbert ReportS5
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night.
The Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay ActThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen will now have to discriminate under the table, which will be difficult, since that's where he usually does his harassing.
Nailed 'Em - Amtrak PhotographerThe Colbert ReportS5
Amtrak police arrest a man because he's taking pictures for their photography contest.
It Could Be Worse - IcelandThe Colbert ReportS5
Iceland is a frigid rock in the middle of nowhere that has gone bankrupt and gone gay.
Intro - 2/2/09The Colbert ReportS5
The government collapses in Iceland, or as it will soon be known thanks to global warming, Landland.
Dan ZaccagninoThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen is angry with Dan Zaccagnino for allowing Indaba Music users to remix his interview.
Henry Louis Gates, Jr.The Colbert ReportS5
Henry Louis Gates, Jr. says Abraham Lincoln was always against slavery, but he wasn't a fan of black people.
All the Show We Have Time ForThe Colbert ReportS5
Fortunately, it's also all the time we have show for.
Colbert Platinum - Ass-Covering EditionThe Colbert ReportS5
If you really want to convince people you're dead, you need to actually die.
Tom Daschle Steps DownThe Colbert ReportS5
If this were the Bush administration, Tom Daschle would have never stepped down -- not without a medal of freedom.
The Word - Army of OneThe Colbert ReportS5
If Republicans do what Rush Limbaugh says, they'll get the only vote that matters: his.
Intro - 2/3/09The Colbert ReportS5
Republicans choose a new leader. Don't worry -- they're the same old ideas.
Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - The Newberry AwardsThe Colbert ReportS5
Al Gore has already won an Oscar, an Emmy, a Nobel Prize and the 2000 presidential election -- he doesn't need a Grammy.
Intro - 2/4/09The Colbert ReportS5
Pope Benedict reinstates a Holocaust-denying bishop. Frankly, Stephen is skeptical of the evidence that he actually reinstated him.
Tell Your FriendsThe Colbert ReportS5
If you didn't like what you saw, Stephen will tell your enemies.
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